Cleaning house

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thirstday, August 16th.

So there’s been a lot of drama at work in the last two weeks.  I’ve been rather disillusioned with my job, in ways that I have not ever been before.


There’s been an ‘opportunity’ being thrown around for the last little while, and there’s been wild speculation as to what will happen in terms of this ‘opportunity’.  (I.e. New job in this area—promotion-type job.  And who’s going to fill that position.)  I’ve been knowing that I am qualified for THAT position, but working hard at not getting too excited about it, as the one thing I’ve learned about my company is to have no expectations and you’re never disappointed.  (Okay, that’s a lie, I’m still disappointed quite often.)


I decided a couple of weeks ago to bide my time quietly, but to start a serious job search in the meanwhile.


Then, last Friday when I was on a day off (much-needed and well-earned), chaos happened; the kind of chaos someone who wants a promotion actually looks forward to.  A manager in one of our Metro locations was dismissed for cause.  It was sudden, and it was a surprise to most everyone.  Our District Manager is filling in the position in the interim.


The rumours immediately began to fly.  Many people came to me and asked me if I was taking the position.  Unfortunately, none of these people were anyone who was in a role enabling them to GIVE me the position.  I explained that unless they knew something that I didn’t, no, it wasn’t likely…but that if it were offered, I would be more than happy to consider it.  (Diplomatic, but a politically correct ‘hells yeah, I want it!’)


Well…nobody has known anything since.  I determined Tuesday that if nobody important had mentioned anything to me yet, it wasn’t going to be me.  I made my peace with that.


Nobody knew anything since.  Until NOW, that is.  And the person that’s getting the job?  The ONE person I would prefer did not.  The ONE person who could possibly add insult to injury.


Luke’s going to be the new manager in our Darkness location.


Talk about a kick in the head with a frozen boot.  Oh well.  At least it’s Thirstday.


Scott at least had the decency to try and tell me privately—he just barely got the words out before the other assistant barged into the office (closed door—does this mean NOTHING?!) with a flippant ‘Oh…did you want that closed?’  She obviously just was being nosy, so I changed the subject, and moved on.


We then had a department head meeting, which was mercifully short.  Lisa kept trying to ask me what I thought about the appointment.  I told her I hoped he’d do a fine job.  After that, I took an extra-long lunch and went to the gym.  I needed some Me Time.  I needed the opportunity to be alone with my thoughts.  My thoughts that went something along the lines of:


“Fucking snot-nosed little cocksucker.  Oh well.  He’s worked hard.  But the little fucker took my job.  Twice.  But he probably deserves it.  More than some of the others, I suppose.  But what a little fucker he is.  And there’s no goddamned way I’m fucking staying to ‘be patient’ now.  Little cocksucker.” 


You see how I’m conflicted?  The inner turmoil?  I’m pissed off.  I’m frustrated.  I’m even angry.  But I at least am able to see that he HAS worked hard.  Granted, the little bastard hasn’t had the decency to call me in two years, but whatever.


I couldn’t get over the amount of sheer joy I took in uttering the word ‘cocksucker’ over and over again.  That is actually what caught me off-guard more than anything.  It’s not a word that I ever use…but it sprang to mind so quickly when I thought of the little weasel.  Generally when someone uses that word as an epithet, I reply with “You say that like it’s a BAD thing!”  Because really?  How many men do you know that actually think that’s a BAD thing?  None.  My point exactly.  But say the word out loud.  Say it with feeling.  It feels GOOD.


Anyway…sorry I’ve been such a slacker about posting.  I’m not sure why, even…except that I’ve got over 200 of you on my Bloglines, and I can’t keep up.  I’ve developed a better system lately—that involves pretty much ignoring most of you.  That seems to be working alright lately…but yesterday was a day off, and I spent ALL of it catching up on 5 or 6 days of blog reading.  It was deadly.


In other news—more pleasant and not-necessarily work related—I have a new roomie.  He’s in, and he’s okay so far.  It’s early days, but I find him to be more pleasant than the last one, although quite odorific.  He’s a bit of a cologne-a-holic.  He’s even got Old Spice scented body-wash.  And cologne.  And shaving cream.  And deodorant.  And body spray.  Yes.  Like that.  Old Spice, even.  Good times.


But even considering that; I like him, he’s pleasant, his girlfriend is a sweetie, and they mostly stay in his room—but with the door OPEN—so they’re unobtrusive, yet available for me to holler at.  “Hey, want some watermelon?  What time do you work tomorrow?  Are you guys going to the Busker Festival at all?”  It’s been okay so far.  I just have to work on finding my bedroom floor again.  When Joe moved in, I had to move all the stuff from the spare room into my room.  And it’s still there.  I keep climbing over it, stubbing my toes on it, and pushing it off the bed, only to lift it back onto the bed in the morning.  And I need to deal with that some time soon.


Also—I’m going on vacation!!!  I’m so excited.  I was booked off for the last week in August—leading up into Labour Day weekend.  I had no real plans, but I wanted to DO something.  Since my job has left me feeling rather cranky and unfulfilled lately, (on top of the personal drama of a month or so ago—it’s been a long, hard summer) I have recently developed a strong urge to go Home.  I wanted to go see my mom, and my sister, and my dad.  I wanted to go eat a peach fresh from a local tree.  I wanted to go see Niagara Falls in the summer time.  I wanted to be some place where it was sunny, and HOT, and all around beautiful.  I wanted to go HOME.


Flying was prohibitive due to the short amount of notice, and my short amounts of expendable cash.  I decided I could drive, if I could find company.  I started asking around.  Nobody could get any time off.  I mentioned it to Bill when he was talking one day about needing to do something different.  And that he had vacation burning a hole in his pocket.  “You should come to Ontario with me for a roadtrip!  Then I could go home!  And it would be different!  It would be an adventure!”


He thought about it for a few days, and I tried to not get too excited about going home…but I DID play with the budget over and over again in hopes that I could squeeze a plane ticket out of my meagre savings.  Bill came through in ways my bank account couldn’t.  He’s coming with!  I get to go HOOOOOOOME.  I’m so excited.


I haven’t told my mom that I’m coming home…or my sister.  I want it to be a complete surprise.  I’ve already checked to make sure that they’re going to be around.  Mum is for certain, and she said that Amy was going to the cottage for the long weekend.  That was going to be great, because I was going to go to the cottage with them once she found out I was in town.  But in talking to my sister, I found that she was only telling mum that as a trick.  Amy was planning a surprise trip home with Jer for the long weekend.  So it’ll be a double-whammy.  Surprise visits from both of us, and a surprise for Amy and Jer as well!  So exciting!


We’re driving to Ontario through Maine, because that way we can stop and see Bill’s sister, and visit the new baby.  It’s very exciting—because that’s an adventure for me.  I’ve never driven through the States to go home, only ever through Canada.  And we’ll be coming BACK through Canada.  But it’ll be a fun trip, I’m sure.


That’s pretty much the ‘short version’ of what’s going on with me, longwinded though it was.  I’m frustrated and disappointed with my work, I’m content with the new roomie, and especially with his timely payment of rent, and I’m more excited than I have been in 15 years about going home.  There’s not the slightest bit of dread or anxiety—just overwhelming happiness.  


What’s new with you?


BTW:  Thanks to L-Girl for the nomination as a Rockin’ Girl Blogger.  It’s kinda nice to be mentioned, and it goes without saying that I feel the same way about her—but I’ll say it anyway.  L-Girl?  You ROCK!




  • Frankly, it all sounds fucking great with you.

    As it is with me, in fact. But I am fucked-up drunk and fairly exhausted.

    Oh fuck, WV from Satan's own arse: zuvajqh

    By Blogger badgerdaddy, At Thu Aug 16, 08:50:00 pm  

  • That sucks about the other guy getting the job. You so deserved it. Just say the word, chickie -- you, me, a carton of eggs and a package of toilet paper. We'll even the score! ;)

    A trip home sounds like just what the doctor ordered. I'm so jealous LOL

    By Blogger jenniek, At Thu Aug 16, 10:01:00 pm  

  • Mutual admiration society here!

    Glad you are getting a break. Dive me a physical description of that Cocksucker and I'll kick his arse! I've got Dartmouth Cred you know.

    By Blogger -LGirl-, At Sat Aug 18, 07:55:00 am  

  • I have faith that something even bigger and better will be coming along for you on the job front!

    I feel you on everything regarding the new roomie. I'm actually quite thrilled that mine will be gone as of tomorrow - I'm tired of climbing over stuff in my own bedroom.

    Have a superfab trip!

    By Blogger Princess of the Universe, At Sat Aug 18, 05:31:00 pm  

  • Hey hope you have a great trip home! Sorry about the pass-over though. That's office politics I suppose. I'm sure you'll get re-energised from the vacation.

    By Blogger Sean, At Sat Aug 18, 09:02:00 pm  

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