Cleaning house

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Whee! Let's hear it for poor judgement!

Whee! :)

So I had a great weekend. I really did. And considering that Saturday was a complete write off? That's saying something. :)

Where to begin?

I think I need to go back a way...quite a way, in fact.

Perhaps not so long ago for you, as it's really only 2 posts ago. But for me? It's been a couple of weeks of personal growth and development, and that's a long way back to think.

I made some decisions over Christmas, set myself some goals, and then had a pretty good New Year's eve setting those goals into action.

I had determined that I needed to not think about Bill as 'boyfriend' material (as he is certainly not), and in order to best accomplish that, I needed to not really think much about him at all. This is more of a challenge than one would think, as my daily conversation is interspersed with 'Bill this' and 'Bill that'. Don't ask me why. I could tell you, but, quite frankly, it's embarrassing for me, and I'd really rather not go there just now. The rest of this post is embarrassing enough. (Not really, surprisingly, but whatever.)

I had made a point when I got back from Christmas of not being the one to IM first. To not contact him, unless he initiated contact. We even went for ThursdayBeer^tm last week, and it was HIS idea. I did not do the inviting. Granted, I was all over it like a fat kid on a Smartie, but he did the inviting. It was Lynn's birthday, so she came with. And we went to Finbar's for variety, and I made Bill drive. :) A whole lot of change for one evening.

It was fun, but not as much fun as ThursdayBeer usually is--the venue was different, the music wasn't quite as much fun, and I found that having Lynn there was actually a detractor from the usual chatty conversation Bill and I enjoy on ThursdayBeer nights. I had a great time anyway, don't get me wrong, but it just wasn't the same.

Anyway. That was the 28th. Bill knew I was looking for plans for NYE, and did not bother to call me with any. So that helped me to put paid to my plan. It really gave me the extra nudge that I was needing to move the hell on.

Good for me, actually. Very much good for me.

On to the weekend. Lynn and I were planning to head to the Triangle on Friday night. But when she got home from the house, she was feeling tired, and grouchy, and glum. But I still wanted to go out. And I wanted to go out and get ripped. So I'd been chatting with Bill on MSN and told him I'd just gotten stiffed and that I still wanted to go out. I asked him if he wanted to come with. I warned him that he might end up cabbing home. I picked him up, and we headed downtown.

What a riot we had. It was a complete contrast to the last time we were at the Triangle together (the night that I forced the chat where we decided to not date anymore--quite messy--quite unpleasant for both of us--and apparently rather less effectual than it should have been. Anyway).

We laughed, and gabbed, and drank, and I met some guy whose stool I stole at the bar...he's a biochemist with the NRC. It was fun. We laughed and laughed and laughed. We also drank way too much. When we left the pub, we walked Roger (my NRC pal) to a cab, then decided we still wanted to be out. We walked to the Alehouse as it was close. But they were still charging cover and we didn't want to pay it, so we left and got a cab to my place. There was a short debate about whose house to go to, but I had more beer than he did, so we came here.

We got here, and I realized that more beer was Out Of The Question for me. He had one, and I just tried to recap mine and commenced on Operation H2O.

We continued gabbing all night. We debated (for the umpteenth time) unions...we talked about different types of wooden cabinets...we discussed the merits of socks, trees, the view off my deck, how noisy we were, being spontaneous, moving across the country for another person, um...and a lot of other stuff. I'm sure it was fascinating, but I am honestly doing quite well just to remember this part.

So we're lying at opposite ends of the couch and he starts rubbing my foot. I'm like "What the hell are you doing?" Then I was like..."Do this one too then, if you're going to keep doing that."

I'm nothing if not logical. And my feet were cold from standing out on the deck with no shoes on.

Friday night was the most 'consequences be damned' night of my life, because I really didn't even consider them at all. And that's SOOOO not like me, it's ridiculous. And you know what? I had the most fun I've had in ages.

I've always been a strong proponent of the idea that 'you don't do anything drunk that you wouldn't do sober, you just do it sooner'. And...yeah.

I went to the bathroom and came back to find him shivering on the sofa. It wasn't that cold. I wasn't cold at all. But I think I was much drunker (yes, it's a word, dammit) than he. I offered to get him a blanket. He said no. I offered again. I said "You can have a blanket and sleep out here, or you can sleep in my bed if you want." I was not propositioning the man, i was simply offering him blankets.

He decided on door number 2. So we went into my room, and then I went to pee. I came back to find him in his undies and tshirt huddled shivering under the covers. I laughed at him, but said "gee, you certainly made yourself at home pretty quick!" I put on my nightshirt--had my back turned to him, but wasn't particularly embarrassed, as quite frankly, he's seen it before. No point in false modesty now.

I climbed into bed and turned out the light. He snuggled right up. So I snuggled too, because it was a lot warmer. And, what the hell?

He kissed me--quite gently. I was honestly and sincerely shocked. I really didn't expect that. (I was drunk remember, I'm usually much better able to predict this stuff!) I said "Hey! What are you doing? You should stop that."

So he did it again, only with a bit more determination. I said again, "You should really not do that. You should stop that right now." But to be fair, I did kiss back a little bit. And then it was pretty much game over.

Poor judgement, or none at all. Either way, FUN. A hella lot of fun.

And you know the best part? In the morning? Not awkward at all, and I realized that I'm good and truly not interested. Well, not in the obsessive way I was before. Because while I had a good time? I remembered that when we're good, we're REALLY good...but the rest of the time? Notsomuch. So it was pretty fun. And mostly harmless. And incredibly spontaneous. And so not ever happening again.

We bussed downtown to get my car after we finally got out of bed at noon-thirty and then I dropped him off at home. He sat in the car for a second looking like he wanted a hug, so I said "Yeah, whatever that was last night, I had fun. See ya." He chuckled and said "Yeah, I had fun too. K then. Until I see you next time then?"

It wasn't awkward, and it wasn't weird. And except for the not ever happening again? It was pretty cool.

Man I haven't had so much fun at a bar in a long time either. Not since the time I went to O'Carroll's with B and Tracey and Brent.

Anyway. I'm getting too old for this garbage, because me, who never EVER got hangovers in her entire life, had to pretty much write off Saturday of this weekend. Granted, it was pouring rain all day, and my day DID include an hour and a half bus-ride into the downtown core...but I felt like garbage all day.

No headache, just generally icky. And I'm not used to that. I hadn't had a lot of sleep, and I'd not had anything to eat in a loooooong time...but I couldn't really face much food either. I was in bed by 9:30 last night, and passed out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke up naturally this morning at 7, and was able to go back to sleep until 9. I felt SO rested and refreshed today, it was great.

Today? I felt so fantastic that I accomplished quite a bit. I finally hauled the Christmas tree off the deck and into the dumpster. I vacuumed, I dished, I laundered. I folded. I went to Windsor and cleaned Lynn's pantry. I scrubbed her walls and baseboards. I had the most pleasant drive down in the sunshine...with the windows wide open and the heater blasting on my toesicles. :)

I came home and read your blogs, I had leftovers for supper. I made a big salad. I fried an egg and attempted to eat it. I HATE eggs. But every now and again I try them. Because I want more than anything to like them. I love to cook eggs. I love how amazing so many egg dishes look and sound. I WANT to love them. But I can't stand the taste of eggs. So tonight I made one for my supper. And it wasn't completely horrible. I ate about half of it before I gave up and tossed it. Half a fried egg is HUGE in my books, folks. It's more egg than I've eaten in pure-egg-form than any single time since I was 4 years old.

I chatted with Billy and Quinn tonight on MSN. I made a new POF profile so I can read Bill's posts on POF more easily. I don't know how long I'll keep it though, as it's completely hidden, and I only did it to read and make the posts. He's started posting, and they're freaking hilarious. He told me about them today, so I wasn't stalking him--I swear. But man is he funny. Funny like ME. OJ's posts were funny like that, only much more well-thought out. He was worth stalking in the forums too.

But I think that POF is a waste of time, and I don't want to get sucked into that. My goal for this year is to put a more concerted effort into having a REAL life, and that involves not getting sucked into my computer for hours at a time.

Which may mean having to cut back on some of my blog-reading...and I really don't want to do that. Hell, when I switched over to Firefox from IE I lost track of about 30 blogs I used to stalk regularly. I can't afford to lose the rest of you too! :) I'd never know what was going on in the world of the smart and funny people!

So yeah...this weekend was a riot, and I learned some stuff. And a lot of stuff about myself. And got some errands done. Can't imagine it happening again any time soon, as I spent a small fortune. I've been spending a lot of time working on getting my finances in better order. I've been documenting every penny I've spent. Which was going great guns until Friday night when I basically spent everything in my pocket, except about $12 in change! Makes it a bit hard to put in the spreadsheet! :) Oh well. Lessons learned: 70-billion. Heh.

Work tomorrow morning, team meeting at 5, gym at 6-ish, clean room tomorrow night.

Tuesday? I close. Wednesday night is swing, Thursday I open, Friday off, and Saturday close again. I'm hoping to convince Verge to sign up for Swing lessons with me this Saturday we'll see. I'd love to add that to my list of winter activities, even if it's with somebody I don't really Like-Like. Because he seems to be game, and that's enough for me! :) It'll get me into the class, and that's all that matters!

Happy Monday, folks. Sorry for the long-winded ramble. :)


  • POF sucks. End of story. The forums are a waste of time, since they only validate what you already know--i.e. that most people are idiots, and if not idiots, too lazy to think for themselves, which begs the question; most people post so that they can hear others agree with one them, and if they don't, they take their ball(s) and go play elsewhere--beacause we humans are too egotistical to take advice, even when it makes sense. So does sleeping with a woman and not having sex for the first 30 days or so (that is, it sucks--or it lacks sucking, however you want to view it). I would choose the couch anyday--because I know myself well enough that there would be no way I could sleep. And if I could sleep in a bed with a woman (and only sleep, mind you!), I would be WAY too drunk, so whiskey dick drunk that there might as well be a menopausal, geriatric giraffe in bed with me. How sexy!

    By Blogger Orange Juice Blues, At Tue Jan 09, 01:45:00 am  

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