Cleaning house

Monday, April 14, 2008

A bit of a habit...

...this not updating regularly business. Too much going on, I think. I'm kind of glad about that, and yet at the same time, not.

This past week at work was hellish. Crazy, insanely busy. One of the sales-guys was on vacation (Cuba, the lucky bastard!) all week, and this is the week that the weather broke. It was nice out, and the contractors were out in full force. BI-ZEE. Anyway, I didn't get any of my own work done because I was too busy doing his work instead. Oh well. It was fun, at least. I got to do the stuff that I ENJOY doing--but I still caught grief for the stuff that I didn't get done. Oh well.

Wednesday night I got a call from DD--he was in need of a beverage (rough day at the office) and wanted beer and company. We met up in Moncton and went to the Old Triangle for a bit. It's not as cool as the Triangle in Halifax, but it's still not a bad little spot. The band sucked, but my hamburger was AMAZING, so things evened out pretty much okay.

DD had LOTS of Guiness, and I did not. I drove him back to his hotel, ducked out on not-so-subtle but kind-hearted suggestions that I take the spare bed, and was home around 3 AM.

I worked Thursday from 8-5, and then TOM FUN!!!! I tried desperately to have a nap before the show, but that didn't materialize. I laid here and thought about how icy cold my toes were, and how much better things would be if they'd just defrost, dammit, and that if I weren't so tired and cold I'd get out of bed and fill up the HWB so they wouldn't be cold anymore. After an hour of that, I just got up instead.

DD came by the house just after 9 to get me. We left here about 9:30-ish, as the show was slated for a 10pm start. Silly me, believing in a 10pm start.

We first listened to a not-terrible local hip-hop group. They got much better as the set progressed. I've never heard hip-hop with an harmonica before, so it was quite unique. I liked it.

Then we progressed to 'I See Rowboats'. This was a bunch of very talented musicians, who for one reason or another sucked as a unit. I didn't enjoy it AT ALL. I was becoming quite disillusioned. I was also not drinking, as I had discovered Thursday afternoon that my CEO was expected to visit on Friday afternoon and that I would now have to work early in the morning instead of at the crack of noon.

Tom Fun took the stage, and all was forgotten. Good times ensued. I sat for two songs, and then could sit no longer. I asked DD if he was staying, or coming with...he said he was coming with, but he doesn't move nearly as quickly as me. I was up on the dance-floor before he knew what hit him. He has spatial issues. I like mine. He apparently wasn't aware that elbows aren't just to be used on strangers. Oopsie. :-)

Poor DD. Anyway, he drank, I didn't. He loosened up a bit, and even danced some. I drove us home. I had a drink of water, and went to bed. He went to the spare room, which I'm almost prepared to designate as DD's room. He's the only person, other than me, that's slept in this house since I've owned it; also he's the only person who's spent more than 2 nights in that room. Poor fella, no spine = getting your own room.

DD has a serious crush. It's kind of flattering, because it's nice to know that somebody's interested. But at the same time it's frustrating. He's a really nice guy that I know I can't get involved with. And he's a really nice guy, who is attractive enough, but he doesn't set my world on fire.

And I'm not prepared to get involved with someone from work if they don't set my world on fire. Because there's just too much risk. Too much to lose. And I'm not prepared to risk my reputation for a fling. Because that's what it would be. Well, I'm not prepared to risk it for a fling just yet, anyway.

To be fair, nobody's set my world on fire in a really long time. I've always been more of a slow-burn kind of girl than the spontaneous-combustion kind. Generally it sneaks up on me that I've grown to love someone and that I can't imagine not having them around. That's not to say that I don't find people physically attractive, because physicality is an incredible thing; but I've only once in my life experienced pure chemistry--physical and emotional...and man...was it amazing.

I really don't know if I will ever find that again, to be honest. I've been giving that a lot of thought lately. Steven has a new girlfriend that he met online. She's amazing. He brought her by yesterday when he came to see the new house. They were on their way back from a bowling tourney in PEI. She went with, just to watch. THAT is a good new girlfriend thing to do. An AMAZING new girlfriend thing to do, to be more accurate.

Anyway, she's fantastic. But the point was, that they've been seeing each other exactly two weeks. She's gone away on a trip with him. Their second date was her going to a party at Duffy's and meeting all his friends. She has now come away to meet me. They were touching, and cozy, and affectionate.

I don't understand how he found someone so amazing, who appears to think he's amazing too, so quickly. Verge did the same thing. Once he finally decided to sign up for POF, the first woman that he actually went on a date with--he ended up starting a relationship with. I don't get it.

Maybe I AM too picky. Maybe I should throw caution to the wind a bit more often. But honestly, if I know that I'm not interested in someone long-term, why should I waste their time or mine? Why would I spend time with some poor man who I, for one reason or another, don't find attractive? I wouldn't. And I shouldn't.

But how do other people do it? I really don't get it.

Anyway, I kind of derailed my thought process. But I've been thinking about this stuff quite a bit the last week or so. I don't know if it's the lapse in judgement with Billy the other weekend, the fact that Steve is so suddenly and blissfully happy, the fact that DD is so doggedly interested even if he's a chicken-shit, or my impending birthday...but I've been considering stuff.

I'll fill you in on 'stuff' as it develops.

Back to the update:

Friday I got up around 8, and tried to be quiet. I showered, dressed, and made myself coffee. Then DD got up too. I think I made him feel guilty. Oh well. :P We sat around and chatted while we drank coffee. I actually ate breakfast, because I was killing time waiting for him to finish his coffee so I could politely kick him out. He was going to my store to do some security stuff, so I wanted him to get there before I did.

I was in to work just after 9. This was going to be a loooong day, waiting for the CEO to show up. I worked an uber-long day for naught, it seemed...I found out at 1pm that my CEO wasn't coming after all. So I made DD take me to lunch. My office manager suggested I just take the whole afternoon; I didn't do that, but I DID manage to take almost 2 hours for lunch. It was amazing. Like playing hookey.

I worked like a dog all day Saturday, and did something Saturday night that I haven't done in ages.

I stayed home.

It was great. I did some laundry, a few loads of dishes, and was in bed by 11:30. Asleep by midnight. I didn't even get up on Sunday until 10 am. It was FANTASTIC.

Sunday should have brought homework, resume refreshing, unpacking...but for the most part it did not.

I got up at 10, did some dishes. I cleaned the kitchen. I finally folded up the loaner cot and took it downstairs to the back door for returning. I swept the kitchen floor. It was great. I ate breakfast, made soup, and baked peach crisp.

At noon, Shaun (used to work for me in Hali) stopped by with his dog for a visit. It was great. I remembered how amazing it is to have a dog in the house. She was cozy and snuggly, and big, and her nails clicked on the floor. She did manage to shed a lot, but meh...so do I. I WAAAAAANT a dog.

I know I could have one...and that it would be company here at the house. But it would definitely mean an end to my random 'pick up and go' trips. I would have to plan what to do with the dog, and the current 'where will I stay' dilemma would become that much more trying.

That, and if I do manage to find myself a new job, I will have to move...and there's no telling where I'd be able to find a place in the city that would allow me to have a dog. So for now, I'll resign myself to just visiting with Shaun's dog every now and again.

Later in the afternoon, Steve and Dawna stopped by. Shaun stayed for 3 hours, they stayed for 2...it was a day filled with visitors. Which was lovely, but meant that i didn't get anything done past 11:45 am. Good thing I got moving as soon as I got up!

Anyway...bedtime. Must sleep. Updates again tomorrow night...likely when I should be studying Gaelic. Doh! :-) G'night poppets.

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4 Comments:

  • Your weekend routine sounds like mine last weekend! And, like you I want a dog as well! The last two gf's I've dated have had dogs and I admit I miss having one around! Thanks for stopping by my site, btw!

    By OpenID trinity2, At Wed Apr 16, 10:11:00 am  

  • Your friend seems rather similar to me and a lot of my single friends so I may be able to shed light on what's going through his head.

    I get the impression that he is a gentleman. He is not a chicken. He is waiting for a signal from you to show acceptance and permission to approach further. You haven't given him that so he is keeping his distance.

    These are the best kind of men and they are constantly dismissed as a result of their passive romantic behaviour.

    By Blogger Sean, At Wed Apr 16, 04:10:00 pm  

  • I feel as you do. I want passion in my life, but only once have felt the crazy chemistry thing. The guy "friend" I'm currently involved with I feel very deeply about, but he was there for me through so much, it would be hard not to feel that way. I usually take a long time to fall in love as well.

    As for the doggie...I have one as you know. She's amazing company, but SO ,uch work! And she's actually pretty low maintenence as for as dogs go. I mean she can go 16 hours without going outside. It is more difficult to just get up and go, but doable. I would definately wait until you're settled in Halifax. I'm jealous! I LOVE Halifax! Oh...you can always take the CAT over and visit my doggie in Maine!

    By Blogger PrincessB, At Fri Apr 18, 09:46:00 am  

  • All my nice-guy friends who develop crushes like this complain about how they're constantly dismissed... especially by confident girls who find an equally confident approach way more attractive! It's hard to know whether it's a good idea to progress from friend to more without that ultra-dramatic buzz or audible click, but maybe the buzz needs time to build????

    By Blogger Kate Nova, At Sun Apr 20, 04:43:00 pm  

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