Oh no!

So last night I was up late.

I was actually, for the first time in ages, composing a real blog post. Apparently the fates were against me because there was a power surge at about 12:30am and the power went out. This wouldn't normally be an issue as I use a laptop.

Except for the power surge.

Because now my computer won't work. And I am SAD.

Oh well, the crack berry will help console me through this time of great loss. (tee-hee!)

I had a house-full this past weekend. It was nice, but exhausting. I worked all day Thursday until 9:30 and then had people trickle in until midnight. It was pretty nice, I must say. I got to keep Christine overnight, and DD and the boy-child stayed until Monday.

Friday I dropped C. At the basketball tournament venue, and then the boys and I went to Peggy's Cove. It was a pretty lovely day out, if a bit chilly.

Friday night we went to see Neil Young at the Metro Centre. The show was good, but the opening band stunk. The tickets were ridiculously expensive, particularly to see only one band, and I'd have never gone to it if I'd been the one buying the tickets.

I worked the next morning at 6, and I have to say that it sucked. Anyone in retail will tell you that if stores are to be closed for a day, people think the world is coming to an end and shop like fiends both the day before and the day after aid holiday. Suffice to say that Saturday blew dead goats.

Saturday night DD took The Child to his aunt and uncle's place and the grown ups went out on the town.

A friend of mine from out of town was home for a visit, so some other friends of mine had a wee house party to mark the occasion. Then we all went off to Cheers. 'Twas a train wreck.

We all had a blast. I bumped into Dan-o. I thought I was saving some girl from some creepy guy; and while this proved to be true, I also found myself in a bit of a pickle when she started hitting on me. My radar is usually a finely tuned instrument but it was temporarily off key due to massive alcohol consumption. Oopsie!

I earned myself a very solid hangover on Sunday, and we didn't get up until 2:30. Supper at DD's brother's place was nice, although I could have happily done without him telling them I wasn't doing so well. Oh well. He's pretty slick otherwise.
Because we were out of town on Sunday afternoon I missed getting to say goodbye to Christine, which made me sad. At least I got to see her a bit, even if I had to work during all Bobby's b-ball games.

Overall, I have to say that it was a pretty fantastic weekend.

It's amazing to me that i've finally found somebody who thinks it's fun watching me have fun and mess around with my friends instead of being a big drag who hates my friends.* He even ENJOYED hanging out with them. Pretty impressive, considering that my friends and I are a) quite a handful, b) humungous flirts, and c) out of control. It was a really nice surprise.

*this is not to say my exes were all big drags-(in fact Billy was not at all) but it's really rare for me to find someone that actually not only understands that I'm different in different settings, but actually lets me be me and actively enjoys that. So odd. So refreshing.

Anyway, this is kinda ridiculously long for typing out on a text message keyboard. So have a happy day, Poppets-and please say a few for the speedy recovery of my 'puter!

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

So much..

...has happened, transpired, and taken place over the last 2 months.

I've gone home, twice. I've been to 3 weddings. I've gone trick-or-treating, thrown a surprise birthday party for my mom, seen my prodigal sister for the first time in 7 years, moved back to Halifax, put my house up for sale, and been invited to move across the country with a boy--should his current career aspirations work out as planned. I've also taken a leave from work for two weeks, screwed my career, and decided that it is better to be happy than to be important.

I've been busy.

Sometimes too busy to write, sometimes too overwhelmed. But here I am now.

I've missed my best friend, and was very excited to be in a place where I could get that friendship back...and now, it appears to have derailed itself. I've been deleted from MSN. And it makes me very sad. Ah well. This too, shall pass.

I've missed you too. And I can't wait to be able to tell you, again, what's been going on with me. But for now, suffice to say that I'm home again, and I didn't think I could be this happy to be here.

Hi honeys, I'm home. :)

Jumping right back in.

Just breaking the silence.

I figured that the best way to start again, is to just do it.

So here you go.

I should be asleep...so I'm going. But I've got a lot to say...so I'll be back.

-DD finally said something about liking me
-he did it on the Wednesday after the last post
-we didn't get a lot of sleep because it took him until 3am to get up enough nerve to say something
-my response was nervous laughter (this is NOT a good way to respond)
-we smooched
-that was good
-he came back the next week
-we smooched more
-we may have done more than smooch
-i pointed out how terrible an idea it would be for us to get involved, but did it anyway
-he REALLY likes me
-he's a pretty decent man
-who really, REALLY likes me
-who's willing to drive 2 hours at a time to see me
-this weekend he did it on Friday night for a surprise
-it was a pretty good surprises
-lynn and alicia were coming down already that day though to help paint the house
-he stayed anyway and hung out with all of us
-they liked him, he liked them. it was a good surprise
-the girls painted my living room while i was at work on saturday
-it was awesome of them
-my house is starting to feel like MY HOUSE--now that it's painted especially
-the trim still needs done, but i can live with this for now--it's just sooo much better
-before this weekend, I was talking to DD on Wednesday or Thursday, and apparently a contact of his at H*me Despot emailed him about 'i hear you're sleeping with one of your store managers'
-it was annoying, irritating, pissed me off, angered me, and was incredibly disheartening that a reputation i've worked hard to build for 10 years could be destroyed by someone's car sitting in my driveway overnight.
-this weekend happened, and it was a great weekend--very relaxing.
-Also, it was nice to see a boy that wanted to see me and so drove 2 hours on his motorcycle to make that happen, and then drove 3 hours home in a rain storm. And is prepared to do it again...however long that takes. Pretty spiff.
-the girls painted my house. Awesome.
-i got lots of sleep, lots of jabber, and lots of friendly love. I have AMAZING friends. I am VERY, VERY, VERY lucky.
-tonight, i got a message from DD that he was getting called up on the carpet by the powers that be because someone called someone important to mention that we're seeing one another. Which we're technically not. Because I haven't decided yet. But he was warning me so that i could be aware in case someone said something to me.
-he's very thoughtful like that, because he wants me to not suffer any repercussions because he really wants us to go someplace. And he's considerate like that anyway.
-but he's worried. and I'm very worried for him. i'm prepared to tell people to fuck themselves because my private life is none of their business. however, his job DOES intersect with mine, and i don't want to do anything to jeopardize his integrity (or my own!)
-he's doing the physical test for the RCMP in 2 weeks. if he passes that, then he's quitting anyway
-i don't want to ever date a cop
-i should likely back off now anyway--and make his life easier. But i get the decided impression that he does not want that at all. he wants more involvement, not less. he's very persuasive.
-i want to be sure it's the right decision. *sigh*
-people suck, big time.

Anyway...bedtime.

Oh yes...and I may be flying home to Ontario on Wednesday morning for a funeral, and then back here on Friday morning. My last remaining grandparent died tonight. It's sad, but mostly because I feel loss at a relationship that never really was.

I always envied people who were closer to their grandparents. My grandma on my dad's side was never particularly close to us--not since we were tiny, anyway. She's a lovely woman who loved Jesus in a way that is not quite natural. She bought into all the television evangelists and whatever snake oil they were selling this week. She parented her kids until they turned 12, then they were on their own. She thought my mother was the only thing keeping my dad out of the priesthood. She wanted my mom to name me Thursyl (thanks for not doing that, mom). But for all that, she loved my father more than ice cream. She was a good woman. I did love her...but I didn't really KNOW her.

She lived far away, and her lifestyle kept her even farther away. My dad worked at keeping his family at a distance, and now that we're all adults, it seems natural to keep doing it.

But I should go home. I should do it for my dad. I should do it for myself. I should do it to honour the relationship that I always wished I had with a woman I hardly knew. I should do it to honour the relationships that my cousins DID have. And to reconnect with a family that I haven't seen in ages.

I will have to see what's going on...the flight is over $500, and I only have 3 days in which to complete it. I'd leave at 6 on Wednesday (from Moncton) and then come back out of Toronto at 8 on Friday morning. It's a whirlwind. I'm going to have to see if I can make it happen or not.

I'll keep you posted. On all of it.

I have a day to spend with my DM tomorrow. His boss is apparently the one that told DD's boss to cool it with the fraternizing. So we'll see if MY boss dares to say anything to me. I really WILL tell him to fuck himself if that's the case.

But first I'll get permission for the bereavement leave. :)

A bit of a habit...

...this not updating regularly business. Too much going on, I think. I'm kind of glad about that, and yet at the same time, not.

This past week at work was hellish. Crazy, insanely busy. One of the sales-guys was on vacation (Cuba, the lucky bastard!) all week, and this is the week that the weather broke. It was nice out, and the contractors were out in full force. BI-ZEE. Anyway, I didn't get any of my own work done because I was too busy doing his work instead. Oh well. It was fun, at least. I got to do the stuff that I ENJOY doing--but I still caught grief for the stuff that I didn't get done. Oh well.

Wednesday night I got a call from DD--he was in need of a beverage (rough day at the office) and wanted beer and company. We met up in Moncton and went to the Old Triangle for a bit. It's not as cool as the Triangle in Halifax, but it's still not a bad little spot. The band sucked, but my hamburger was AMAZING, so things evened out pretty much okay.

DD had LOTS of Guiness, and I did not. I drove him back to his hotel, ducked out on not-so-subtle but kind-hearted suggestions that I take the spare bed, and was home around 3 AM.

I worked Thursday from 8-5, and then TOM FUN!!!! I tried desperately to have a nap before the show, but that didn't materialize. I laid here and thought about how icy cold my toes were, and how much better things would be if they'd just defrost, dammit, and that if I weren't so tired and cold I'd get out of bed and fill up the HWB so they wouldn't be cold anymore. After an hour of that, I just got up instead.

DD came by the house just after 9 to get me. We left here about 9:30-ish, as the show was slated for a 10pm start. Silly me, believing in a 10pm start.

We first listened to a not-terrible local hip-hop group. They got much better as the set progressed. I've never heard hip-hop with an harmonica before, so it was quite unique. I liked it.

Then we progressed to 'I See Rowboats'. This was a bunch of very talented musicians, who for one reason or another sucked as a unit. I didn't enjoy it AT ALL. I was becoming quite disillusioned. I was also not drinking, as I had discovered Thursday afternoon that my CEO was expected to visit on Friday afternoon and that I would now have to work early in the morning instead of at the crack of noon.

Tom Fun took the stage, and all was forgotten. Good times ensued. I sat for two songs, and then could sit no longer. I asked DD if he was staying, or coming with...he said he was coming with, but he doesn't move nearly as quickly as me. I was up on the dance-floor before he knew what hit him. He has spatial issues. I like mine. He apparently wasn't aware that elbows aren't just to be used on strangers. Oopsie. :-)

Poor DD. Anyway, he drank, I didn't. He loosened up a bit, and even danced some. I drove us home. I had a drink of water, and went to bed. He went to the spare room, which I'm almost prepared to designate as DD's room. He's the only person, other than me, that's slept in this house since I've owned it; also he's the only person who's spent more than 2 nights in that room. Poor fella, no spine = getting your own room.

DD has a serious crush. It's kind of flattering, because it's nice to know that somebody's interested. But at the same time it's frustrating. He's a really nice guy that I know I can't get involved with. And he's a really nice guy, who is attractive enough, but he doesn't set my world on fire.

And I'm not prepared to get involved with someone from work if they don't set my world on fire. Because there's just too much risk. Too much to lose. And I'm not prepared to risk my reputation for a fling. Because that's what it would be. Well, I'm not prepared to risk it for a fling just yet, anyway.

To be fair, nobody's set my world on fire in a really long time. I've always been more of a slow-burn kind of girl than the spontaneous-combustion kind. Generally it sneaks up on me that I've grown to love someone and that I can't imagine not having them around. That's not to say that I don't find people physically attractive, because physicality is an incredible thing; but I've only once in my life experienced pure chemistry--physical and emotional...and man...was it amazing.

I really don't know if I will ever find that again, to be honest. I've been giving that a lot of thought lately. Steven has a new girlfriend that he met online. She's amazing. He brought her by yesterday when he came to see the new house. They were on their way back from a bowling tourney in PEI. She went with, just to watch. THAT is a good new girlfriend thing to do. An AMAZING new girlfriend thing to do, to be more accurate.

Anyway, she's fantastic. But the point was, that they've been seeing each other exactly two weeks. She's gone away on a trip with him. Their second date was her going to a party at Duffy's and meeting all his friends. She has now come away to meet me. They were touching, and cozy, and affectionate.

I don't understand how he found someone so amazing, who appears to think he's amazing too, so quickly. Verge did the same thing. Once he finally decided to sign up for POF, the first woman that he actually went on a date with--he ended up starting a relationship with. I don't get it.

Maybe I AM too picky. Maybe I should throw caution to the wind a bit more often. But honestly, if I know that I'm not interested in someone long-term, why should I waste their time or mine? Why would I spend time with some poor man who I, for one reason or another, don't find attractive? I wouldn't. And I shouldn't.

But how do other people do it? I really don't get it.

Anyway, I kind of derailed my thought process. But I've been thinking about this stuff quite a bit the last week or so. I don't know if it's the lapse in judgement with Billy the other weekend, the fact that Steve is so suddenly and blissfully happy, the fact that DD is so doggedly interested even if he's a chicken-shit, or my impending birthday...but I've been considering stuff.

I'll fill you in on 'stuff' as it develops.

Back to the update:

Friday I got up around 8, and tried to be quiet. I showered, dressed, and made myself coffee. Then DD got up too. I think I made him feel guilty. Oh well. :P We sat around and chatted while we drank coffee. I actually ate breakfast, because I was killing time waiting for him to finish his coffee so I could politely kick him out. He was going to my store to do some security stuff, so I wanted him to get there before I did.

I was in to work just after 9. This was going to be a loooong day, waiting for the CEO to show up. I worked an uber-long day for naught, it seemed...I found out at 1pm that my CEO wasn't coming after all. So I made DD take me to lunch. My office manager suggested I just take the whole afternoon; I didn't do that, but I DID manage to take almost 2 hours for lunch. It was amazing. Like playing hookey.

I worked like a dog all day Saturday, and did something Saturday night that I haven't done in ages.

I stayed home.

It was great. I did some laundry, a few loads of dishes, and was in bed by 11:30. Asleep by midnight. I didn't even get up on Sunday until 10 am. It was FANTASTIC.

Sunday should have brought homework, resume refreshing, unpacking...but for the most part it did not.

I got up at 10, did some dishes. I cleaned the kitchen. I finally folded up the loaner cot and took it downstairs to the back door for returning. I swept the kitchen floor. It was great. I ate breakfast, made soup, and baked peach crisp.

At noon, Shaun (used to work for me in Hali) stopped by with his dog for a visit. It was great. I remembered how amazing it is to have a dog in the house. She was cozy and snuggly, and big, and her nails clicked on the floor. She did manage to shed a lot, but meh...so do I. I WAAAAAANT a dog.

I know I could have one...and that it would be company here at the house. But it would definitely mean an end to my random 'pick up and go' trips. I would have to plan what to do with the dog, and the current 'where will I stay' dilemma would become that much more trying.

That, and if I do manage to find myself a new job, I will have to move...and there's no telling where I'd be able to find a place in the city that would allow me to have a dog. So for now, I'll resign myself to just visiting with Shaun's dog every now and again.

Later in the afternoon, Steve and Dawna stopped by. Shaun stayed for 3 hours, they stayed for 2...it was a day filled with visitors. Which was lovely, but meant that i didn't get anything done past 11:45 am. Good thing I got moving as soon as I got up!

Anyway...bedtime. Must sleep. Updates again tomorrow night...likely when I should be studying Gaelic. Doh! :-) G'night poppets.