Cleaning house

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

And so it goes.

I'd been emailing in my posts the past few days, and apparently they've been emailing themselves to my drafts folder, and not to the actual blog.  So...one day, when I get around to it, you may get some rather old, rather mundane posts about being out of practice.  But likely not.  It's one of myriad reasons I gave myself some grace with this resolution business.

Regardless, that brings us to Today.

Have you ever had those days/weeks/months where the world seems to be telling you something?

I get 'a feeling' quite often.  Mostly about things like 'self, you should take an umbrella even though the forecast is clear and sunny', or 'you'd best go back and change your shoes for no reason'.

It's taken me decades to learn to listen to my little voice.  To follow that feeling.  Because inevitably, if I don't--there's a monsoon rain, or I end up taking a 5 mile hike in heels.  Seems silly when you say it out loud, but that bit of second sight has served me well in my life.

The last few days the universe seems to be converging to bring me to something.  It seems to be something good but only time will tell.

There was a job posting the other day, a job for which I am most certainly qualified.  Now, I don't actually WANT this particular job, but feel that I should apply just for practice.  Keeping in mind that one of my goals for last year was to apply for 6 jobs and get one offer.  I sent out exactly one, very shitty, resume.

DD and I drove to the job location on Saturday past to scope out the opportunity/challenges.  The trek was fun, nice little road trip.  It took 7 hours, all told.  And it reinforced that I have absolutely no desire to move right now.  Or negotiate salary, vacation, and benefits.  I have a wedding coming up in June, and don't really want to say 'hey, new boss--i'm taking 3 weeks off in the middle of the summer...suck it!'

Anyway...we checked it out.  Discussed the challenge.  Talked about options and opportunities for both of us.  Moved on with life.

Then over the last couple of days things have come to my attention that have me pondering my future course of action.

I've recently become aware of a new charity group rising up in the HRM.  One Hundred Women Who Care.  I've always harboured a desire to be a philanthropist--just not the means.  But in looking over this cause, I can't seem to find a better way to make a BIG difference in my local community.  The commitment is $400 over the course of a year.  $100 a quarter.  Directly to charities that give tax receipts.  But we all do it at once, so the charity receives $10,000 (or more!) in one shot.  Kind of a nice boost for a local group.  I hemmed and hawed for a while, and I just signed up.  (While I was going to capture the link up above, actually!)

It's going to be a challenge for me to come up with the cash, but I feel that charity is important, and that the world will provide what is needed when I need it.  I probably shouldn't make giving as much of a priority right now, with student loans, credit cards, mortgage, and a wedding to pay for...but I'm so incredibly blessed in my life that I don't see how i CAN't do it now.

One of the many things that has brought me to this (I get back to the point eventually) place is a video I saw the other day --on Facebook, don't judge.  It talked about doing what you love.  Doing what makes you happy.  That life is short.  And that you need to seize the opportunities that the world places in your path.  The video was viral, but labelled in a funny way.  I didn't watch it the first 6 times I saw the link.  Then Billy posted it, so I watched.  And it gave me pause.

It made me re-evaluate my current perspective.  (That perspective has been shape-shifting a lot lately so it's been like weighing the wind.)

Perhaps I should have been counting the signs for you.  I'll start now.

Sign #3


Spend a few minutes and watch/listen to that.  Then think about it.  I know we've all heard the message before...but for some reason, this time...I got it.

Sign #4

I went in to work today on my day off.  I was dressed well, as I was going to get my hair done and do some errands after.  Also, I like not looking like a slug when I'm not at work.  I got several compliments, which was lovely.  One person said "where were you?  At a job interview?"  I laughed and said no.  (now, it begins to come together)

Sign #5

I went to get my hair done.  My regular stylist, who is AMAZING--both as a person, and as a stylist--was busy, but I really needed a haircut so I booked with another girl.  She was nice, but she's no Michelle. :)  Michelle came over to talk to me when she'd finished with her client.  She looked amazing.  Fit, trim, clear skin...just lovely.  And she told me she has colon cancer.

She found out in September, had both radiation and chemotherapy through the fall and early winter.  She's done her treatments now, and she should find out in the next couple of weeks how successful they were.  If all is well, fantastic, she's cancer-free for now.  If it didn't go well, full ostomy right away.

Her attitude is amazing.  She's incredibly positive.  She was open, chatty, and willing to share her news.  I only see her every 5 or 6 months, but we worked together for years prior to her leaving to start a new career (9+ years ago!) in hair, so I wouldn't expect her to be that open with her personal stuff--but I guess perspective changes a lot of things.

I admired her openness, and her strength.  And her sunshine.  She's always been a positive person, but to be going forward so BUOYANTLY toward a future that many would see as filled with bleakness and fear.  It reminded me why I love her so much, and pushed me ever closer to a paradigm shift.

Sign #6

Nothing nearly so important.  A fortune cookie told me to use my intelligence and charm to get a new job.

Sign #7

Really?  I need SEVEN?


So, while I've been contemplating big changes in my life for a good long while now, I'm thinking that soon will come a time for no more contemplation.  Soon will be the time for doing...and I really need to figure out what on earth it is that I want to be doing in order to be my best self, and to give my best self to the world.

A whole lot of little things...that add up to one big thing: me making a change.  Let's see what shape that change comes in.  :)  I know that I'm looking forward to the challenge.




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