Cleaning house

Sunday, October 28, 2007


Some of you have asked about this...what is it, why do you care, etc.

Well, it started last year--was all the rage, in fact. Here's a link to last year's explanation/prize extravaganza that was hosted by Fussy.

It was a lot of fun. You don't think it's going to be hard to do, until you actually force yourself to sit down every single day and post. Even if it's just a few words. It's tough. Toughie McToughster. But worth it.

So in the spirit of (inter)NaBloPoMo...I'm throwing my laptop into the ring. Who's with me?


In other was Sunday. A day of *cough* rest. I slept in until 8am. It was delicious. I then fucked around for a few hours, and went to work from 12 until 6:30. I drove to Sackville, NB for supper, then back to work from 8 until 9:15.

The sad thing is that even considering the crazy long hours that I put in today--which were entirely very physical labour--I'm still going to get my ass kicked tomorrow when my district manager comes to visit.

Oh well. This too shall pass.

I've GOT to hit the hay. Too many late nights in a row, too much work...makes Sadie a very tired girl. I'll see you poppets tomorrow. Have a peaceful week!

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Another Saturday night and I ain't got no body...

Being alone (and lonely) in a strange place when you'd rather be any place else, really makes it that much more disappointing when somebody doesn't live up to your (extremely simple, yet patently unrealistic) expectations.

I'm so disappointed right now. I know better, and yet here I am, feeling sad and grumpy because I expect too much from Billy. And since I know better? Really--I'm just disappointed in myself for expecting anything at all.

The sad thing is that I am now remembering why it is that distance gets easier over time. You slowly write people out of the daily script of your life. Sad, but true. If you're lucky, you can have a flashback scene or a walk-on cameo later in the show--but it's never the same as it was before.

I wasn't going to actually write a real post--just the first paragraph--but now that I'm here I feel like staying.

Last night at 11 Scoot called. My crazy boss was sitting with his buddy feeling bored and lonely. I miss chatting with him. It was actually kinda funny, because I was on speaker phone and I really enjoyed his friend Bill. Bill is a funny man who's in the military. He was giving Scoot the same advice that I have been--to get the heck out of the house that his wife is still living in.

I'm up too late--have been for the last 3 nights. I was up until 2 on Thursday and Friday nights, and up at 6 each morning after. Tonight? I'm still up at 12:30 am and have to go in to work on my day off at 9 am.

I didn't get a day off this week. I was being a decent person and giving my loaner assistant manager this Weekend off. It worked out well that way, because yesterday at 2:00 we found out Albert was needed in Grand Falls on Monday morning at 7AM. Which means I am back to not having an assistant.

They found me a new loaner, but he can't be at my store until Wednesday of this week. And he can only work Wednesday and Thursday. Then he's going to Ontario for 5 days. My inventory is Saturday. This is problematic.

I have nobody who can run my map. I have nobody who can coordinate my sheets. I have nobody to HELP me. I have about 10 days worth of work to do between now and Friday's start time, and only 3 days to do it. By myself.

Blargle. Anyway, life just keeps on getting better. One day, this will all be funny. Shame it's not just yet.

Did I mention that the oil company never came to fill my tank yesterday? And that my house is out of heating fuel? And that it's fucking cold in there? But that it was still more pleasant to sit in my 12.3*C house and eat leftover spaghetti than it was to spend Saturday night sitting alone in my hotel room. Booyah.

Wow, I am in the dumps. Sorry for that...I really am NOT so much, honestly. It just sounds like I'm whingeing. It feels like I am always whingeing these days. Like I do nothing but complain. The thing is...I don't. I try not to mention my job to Billy, because he doesn't get it...and I don't like to bitch at him too much. I can't say a word at work, because I'm the one that's supposed to keep the stiff upper lip and be the pleasant, cheery, director of activities. And it's stressing me out too much keeping it all bottled up.

So are you guys doing the NaBloPoMo thing again this year? I'm going to. I need the motivation/incentive to show up every day while I get my head and my life sorted out.

Also, go visit his Movember efforts. He doesn't strike me as a particularly hairy individual, so I think he's going to need the support. Also, it's for a GREAT cause. Give a brother a donation, and he'll grow you a serious 'stache. :)

Happy weekend, folks.

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Monday, monday.

Blogging has not been high on my list of priorities lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed.

The scary part is that it SHOULD have been on my list. Because when I blog, I feel more sane, I feel more centred; and boy could I use some sanity these days.

So I went on vacation at the end of August. It was the most fun I’ve had in years. While I was on vacation, several things happened. I got to drive across the country with my best friend. I got to meet Billy’s family. I got to hold a baby. I got a cold. I left my suitcase in Maine and wore the same clothes for a week afterwards. I slept in Schenectady. I surprised the heck out of my mom. I went to the Ex with my mom and my sister. I got to hang out with Amy and Jer and Bill. Billy told me he loved me. I got a new job. I got to visit my family some more.

What was that? Oh yeah. I got a new job. Oh…the other part…yep. Buddy finally clued in. He told me that the whole reason he’d come on the trip was to get up the nerve to tell me how he felt. Completely not why I’d invited him…but interesting nonetheless.

So the night he told me, it was about 3:30 am, maybe 4:00 am. I told him I didn’t know how to respond because I wasn’t interested in having my heart broken again. I played it cool. Even Joanna would have been proud of me.

The next morning at 9:30, I got a phone call at my sister’s house. It was my boss 3 steps up the food chain. He tracked me down through and took a chance calling his way through the Toronto phonebook. (ASIDE: It’s really quite annoying that everyone on this coast thinks that if you’re from Ontario you must be from Toronto. I ALMOST wish he hadn’t been able to find me!)

I was offered a new job in Amherst, NS. It meant moving 2 hours away from my very well-established life in Halifax. It meant moving away from my Gaelic classes, my beer night, my social network, and my friends. But it also meant finally being offered the job I’ve worked my ass off for for the last 6 years. It meant a substantial raise. It meant I could afford to buy a house. It meant moving away from the boy that had just finally clued in. Of course, I accepted.
You know how they say to be careful what you wish for? Well…They are right.

My stress levels have been insane lately. I haven’t had time to think, breathe, or even do laundry since the beginning of September. I’ve been living in an hotel since 2 days after we got back from vacation.

I’ve been eating in restaurants every day for 2 months, and not working out. I have been working 12 – 14 hour days. I have been trying to dig my way out of the pit into which I was thrown when I took over the new store.

I will learn to like it here, but I’ll never love it the way I loved the crew in Halifax. I don’t actually LIKE most of the people I’m working with. I’m tired to death already of the constant whingeing, complaining, and crying about how much their lives suck. They should try MINE for a day if they think life is hard.

We got a lot of the mess cleaned up. I did the budget for next year. My inventory is only two weeks away. We are no where near being ready for a thorough and accurate count. I have no choice. Saturday, November 3rd we start counting, and we count until we’re done. For better or worse, that’s the number we will start 2008 with.

I have been treading water, and I’m not doing well. I’ve been bobbing, and spluttering, and several times it’s felt like I was going down for the last dunk. The last couple of days have not been *so* bad, but I think I’ve just stopped caring so much.

Oh, and did I mention that during all of this I bought a house? My very first house? That I took out a mortgage, organized a withdrawal from my RRSP, found a house, offered, counter-offered, found a lawyer, and then finally bought a house? Yeah. That wasn’t any extra stress that I didn’t need. Much.

So I took possession of the house on Friday past. I came over and cooked a frozen pizza in my oven, and did a load of wash. My stuff is still all in Halifax, so I had to make something that required not pots, pans, or utensils. It was great.

The more time I spend in this house, the more I love it too. It’s going to be a very comfortable place to be. It’s going to be *Home* and I’m very happy.

I’m here now while the cable/internet guy hooks up the wires. Apparently there’s never been a hookup here before, so he’s had to run cables, and drill holes, and all manner of things. It was supposed to take 15 minutes, but because of the wiring, it’s been an hour and a half already, and he’s not close to finished. Yikes.

I need to get back to work so that my office manager can leave. Have I mentioned she’s a batty old cunt? Because she is. I hate her. (I am being as kind as I can here—scary, no? But enough about her for now. More about me!

I spent the last two weekends in Cape Breton, and what a great time that was. The first weekend was for Celtic Colours. Billy and I drove to Sydney to see Shooglenifty and the Tom Fun Orchestra play. What a great show it was. We had a blast. The drive was pleasant, the show was awesome, and we added another cheap and crappy motel to our repertoire.

Then last weekend, we drove to Louisbourg for a wedding. It was a couple of people that Bill had gone to university with. He was very anxious about the wedding for some reason, but we had a great time once we got there.

I got sick on Sunday. I thought it was self-induced, but as we drove closer to Antigonish I started feeling worse, not better. We had supper with his folks, and then drove back to Truro. I continued on into the city in my car to pick up my rent from my old roomie.

I hit my house, dropped my bags, and went to pee. I then climbed under the covers with my clothes on, and passed out. This was 9:50 pm. At 12:30am I woke up and commenced to toss my guts. I vomited on and off until 5:30 am. I ran out of things to toss at about 3:00 am but I’m no quitter, so I kept on trying. Good times, I tell you. Good. Times.

I slept all day Monday, even though my intent was to spend my day off at work. I didn’t get up to head back to Amherst until 2:30 pm. I got to the hotel at about 6, and by 8:30 I was back in bed.

Suffice to say that last week SUCKED.

(If that really sufficed, you could have skipped over the last 3 paragraphs. Oh well. Sucks to be you.)

Argh. It’s 4:30. I’ve now been gone for almost 2 hours. And I had just come back from lunch when the phone rang. Doesn’t make me feel terribly responsible. Although I was at work just after 7, and I’m there until 9 tonight…so I guess I’ll make up for it. But I wish I was having a nap right now! Maybe I will…I can go lay down in the car and wait for the phone to ring/the cable guy to finish/Godot.

More later, poppets. (man, it feels good to be back.)

Friday, October 05, 2007


Hello there. I'm Sadie.

I know, you haven't seen me around these parts for quite some time. But I've got a new broom, and I'm here to take out the cobwebs; give the mats a shake and clean the windows. You know...fix the place up a bit.

I've started my new job, and the stress...she be intense. I walked into a big mess, and I've got some serious staffing issues. I'm working hard at smoothing things over, hiring some people and getting things done. But yikes, the challenges right now are crazy.

So I've been living in the hotel for almost a month now, and it grows quite tiresome. I hate having to clean my room so that someone can come in and clean my room. I hate not being able to spread my things out and leave them on the table when I go to work the next morning. I've been trying desperately to find a new place to live...and now, I finally have.

I bought a house! I'm in the throes of figuring out the details--insurance, mortgage, home inspection, lawyer, etc, etc, etc. Scary stuff! I'll post a photo here very soon so you can see how purty it is. It's a whole lot of ugly on the inside, but it's all cosmetic and I can fix that myself over some time.

My closing date is the 19th, and I only just made the offer 2 days ago, so I'm in a bit of a crunch for time. I figured, I don't have nearly enough stress in my life right now, I should just add a bit to it. *grin*

Anyway...I haven't had a day off in a while, so I took this morning to look after some ME stuff. I.e. sleep. And blogging. And emails. And it's been good...probably not a smart thing to do, but definitely necessary.

I'm off to work now, so I'll talk to you again soon. Lots more scoop to add...I never even got to post my vacation photos/story yet!

Thursday, October 04, 2007


Or for those slow connections...


Real post soon to follow. Sooooo much stress right now, I don't have time to eat or sleep, let alone blog.

I love you all, and I'll be around for de-lurk week skulking in your comment boxes. :)