Cleaning house

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Another Saturday night and I ain't got no body...

Being alone (and lonely) in a strange place when you'd rather be any place else, really makes it that much more disappointing when somebody doesn't live up to your (extremely simple, yet patently unrealistic) expectations.

I'm so disappointed right now. I know better, and yet here I am, feeling sad and grumpy because I expect too much from Billy. And since I know better? Really--I'm just disappointed in myself for expecting anything at all.

The sad thing is that I am now remembering why it is that distance gets easier over time. You slowly write people out of the daily script of your life. Sad, but true. If you're lucky, you can have a flashback scene or a walk-on cameo later in the show--but it's never the same as it was before.

I wasn't going to actually write a real post--just the first paragraph--but now that I'm here I feel like staying.

Last night at 11 Scoot called. My crazy boss was sitting with his buddy feeling bored and lonely. I miss chatting with him. It was actually kinda funny, because I was on speaker phone and I really enjoyed his friend Bill. Bill is a funny man who's in the military. He was giving Scoot the same advice that I have been--to get the heck out of the house that his wife is still living in.

I'm up too late--have been for the last 3 nights. I was up until 2 on Thursday and Friday nights, and up at 6 each morning after. Tonight? I'm still up at 12:30 am and have to go in to work on my day off at 9 am.

I didn't get a day off this week. I was being a decent person and giving my loaner assistant manager this Weekend off. It worked out well that way, because yesterday at 2:00 we found out Albert was needed in Grand Falls on Monday morning at 7AM. Which means I am back to not having an assistant.

They found me a new loaner, but he can't be at my store until Wednesday of this week. And he can only work Wednesday and Thursday. Then he's going to Ontario for 5 days. My inventory is Saturday. This is problematic.

I have nobody who can run my map. I have nobody who can coordinate my sheets. I have nobody to HELP me. I have about 10 days worth of work to do between now and Friday's start time, and only 3 days to do it. By myself.

Blargle. Anyway, life just keeps on getting better. One day, this will all be funny. Shame it's not just yet.

Did I mention that the oil company never came to fill my tank yesterday? And that my house is out of heating fuel? And that it's fucking cold in there? But that it was still more pleasant to sit in my 12.3*C house and eat leftover spaghetti than it was to spend Saturday night sitting alone in my hotel room. Booyah.

Wow, I am in the dumps. Sorry for that...I really am NOT so much, honestly. It just sounds like I'm whingeing. It feels like I am always whingeing these days. Like I do nothing but complain. The thing is...I don't. I try not to mention my job to Billy, because he doesn't get it...and I don't like to bitch at him too much. I can't say a word at work, because I'm the one that's supposed to keep the stiff upper lip and be the pleasant, cheery, director of activities. And it's stressing me out too much keeping it all bottled up.

So are you guys doing the NaBloPoMo thing again this year? I'm going to. I need the motivation/incentive to show up every day while I get my head and my life sorted out.

Also, go visit Mike...support his Movember efforts. He doesn't strike me as a particularly hairy individual, so I think he's going to need the support. Also, it's for a GREAT cause. Give a brother a donation, and he'll grow you a serious 'stache. :)

Happy weekend, folks.

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