And in other news...
...I am now single again, and without a best friend. I am incredibly sad. I am very disappointed. And I am somewhat humiliated. However, I am no longer guessing.
And although I'm sad, and disappointed, and yes, humiliated--I'm much happier at least KNOWING stuff.
Nothing is so horrible as what one imagines. It's much better to SAY things than it is to wonder about them.
But oh my...am I sad. And tomorrow, or the next day, or both...and for quite some time to come...I am certain that I will be very, VERY lonely. I kind of already am.
***
And. I had a shitty day anticipating being single. And it would have been a shitty day anyway. And I have about 4 hours worth of work to do before I can go to bed. And it's 1:14 am and my guts are still churning the way they have been for over 24 hours now...although they're better than they were.
So...I'm off to do my work. I may be back. It depends how much focus I can garner between here and there. I also have to work again at 6 am...did I mention that part yet?
***
I have been considering for the last couple of hours taking my first sick day EVER...because I don't think everyone else can stand a day of me being as miserable at work as I was today. And I'm off all weekend, so I'll have lots of time to mope and mull and get happier. Or at least drunker. Fuck. Oh well.
At least I wouldn't be lying about being sick...I'm sick in my heart. And in my stomach.
More tomorrow. After Gaelic.
And although I'm sad, and disappointed, and yes, humiliated--I'm much happier at least KNOWING stuff.
Nothing is so horrible as what one imagines. It's much better to SAY things than it is to wonder about them.
But oh my...am I sad. And tomorrow, or the next day, or both...and for quite some time to come...I am certain that I will be very, VERY lonely. I kind of already am.
***
And. I had a shitty day anticipating being single. And it would have been a shitty day anyway. And I have about 4 hours worth of work to do before I can go to bed. And it's 1:14 am and my guts are still churning the way they have been for over 24 hours now...although they're better than they were.
So...I'm off to do my work. I may be back. It depends how much focus I can garner between here and there. I also have to work again at 6 am...did I mention that part yet?
***
I have been considering for the last couple of hours taking my first sick day EVER...because I don't think everyone else can stand a day of me being as miserable at work as I was today. And I'm off all weekend, so I'll have lots of time to mope and mull and get happier. Or at least drunker. Fuck. Oh well.
At least I wouldn't be lying about being sick...I'm sick in my heart. And in my stomach.
More tomorrow. After Gaelic.
posted by canadian sadie at
1:12 am
