Cold enough for ya?

"Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative." - Oscar Wilde



Earlier, I was walking back from the grocery store. I was wearing my red fleece. It came as a complete shock to me to realize that I've had that fleece for 15 years now. It made me both sad and nostalgic for my University days.

I purchased the fleece just before Christmas during my first year, from a floor-mate in residence. Most of the girls on my floor were enrolled in the Journalism program (Carleton's famous for it). The program is incredibly difficult to get into, and even more difficult to graduate from. This girl had entered the program with spectacular marks, and so far as I recall, she was showing quite a bit of promise.

She dropped out of University just before Christmas to join Greenpeace. She was selling off all her belongings before she went off on an ocean liner to spray-paint harp seals.

The thing that stuck most in my mind is the fact that I do not, with any accuracy, remember her name. I think it was Jennifer, but that's the point at which I draw a blank.

I loved my fleece. I was pleased to get such a bargain, particularly just before Christmas. I was shocked anappalleded that someone would drop out of school, even before they were really started, to become a professional activist. Someone with such promise, going off to do the unthinkable--LIVE.

Well, that's how I see it now, anyway. I don't know what I thought she was going to do...I remember thinking about how horrified her family must have been. I remember thinking that she must have gone off her rocker to give up her entire future. I didn't see that she was carving out for herself a future that was different than any I had considered. Now, I admire her audacity and courage.

I wish today that I had the courage it takes to throw up your current reality in favour of one that is new and different. To take that terrifying first step and try something unfamiliar.

I wonder though, is it daring to take a leap of faith? Or is it foolhardy? I know that at this point in my life I should be most prepared to take these risks--and yet, as it stands at this moment, I'm not.

I am working my ass off to try and pay down debt accumulated during my University years. I have established a plan that will have me debt-free in just over a year from now. However, that means I'm on a poverty/near-starvation diet until then.

Don't get all panicked--by 'near-starvation' I don't mean that I'm not eating. I mean, rather, that I'm on what amounts to a social-starvation diet. Consider it a social-Atkins, if you will. I can do whatever I want, so long as it doesn't cost much and there's no substance. A social life with no theoretical carbs--where's the fun in that? *grin*

I can afford to muse about having a life because I'm currently living in a place where it is theoretically possible for me to have one. I'm in a city. I'm surrounded by the possibility of meeting other intelligent, educated individuals. I don't have to live through the drought of conversation that I've endured for the last few years. And yet, without the funding, it's difficult to get out there and meet these people.

I can't remember the last time I met someone I wanted to be friends with at a club. (Yes I can, it's never.) I think I'm just all introspective because I met a man who is interesting, intelligent, and attractive at Heidi's on the weekend. It's reminded me that not everyone in the world is as obsessed as I am with lumber and the ability to merchandise my store in an acceptable manner. It's reminded me that I have other interests, and other viewpoints that are far more interesting than how you should install your ceramic tiles.

I was also reading some really great blogs today, by some really very talented writers. I am very pleased to have this speedy and lovely computer with which to read all these blogs. Even though this computer's speed and grace is the single-largest cause of brain atrophy in my home. *grin* I spend far too much time reading blogs and not nearly enough time cleaning my apartment and purging my stuff!

That's enough with the links already! Time for bed.

Note to self: Remember to thank Luke at some point for introducing me to Phish's version of 'Gin and Juice' - even though it's not really Phish at all. What a scam. Great tune though!