Cleaning house

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

a taste of gaelic?

Tha mi cho iriosal, agus tha mo beilleag ana-bhlasta!
I am soooo humble, and my lips are delicious!

YEah.....trust me, I'm not the one that said that. :) Highly entertaining, nonetheless.

I was going to post last night, but was far too tired to do it. And then today, I was actually accomplishing stuff. Not a lot of stuff, mind you, but some stuff. And I accomplished it. So Nyeah!

I cleaned the bathroom (but didn't mop the floor), I changed my bed, washed my sheets, did more laundry, finally hung some pictures on the wall, and ate. Boy did I eat.

I also went to the gym. I nearly died at the gym. Great workout, but sheesh. Tracey gets gung-ho when she's been away for a couple of days. I need the challenge of someone pushing me, but it's still hard to do it! So after the gym, I was pooped. I got dressed to go to the mall, but realized I was starving. At which point I decided that I needed to come home and eat even more.

I studied a little bit tonight for Gaelic tomorrow, but not nearly enough.

I got a film developed yesterday, and it had photos from Christmas on it. :) Some were great, but some were grainy and fuzzy. Probably because the cameras have been living in my car for the last 2 months waiting to be dropped off for developing.

I left the other two cameras at the evil W-place, and will pick them up tomorrow if they're ready. I was only prepared to pay for 1 hour for one film. It was luck of the draw what was going to be on it. One of the other films will be camping photos from September. I'm looking forward to those! I don't know what's on the third camera. Surprise! That's the best part about dropping off films...the joy of surprise memories just reaching out from your past and reminding you of happy times.

I think that one of the things I love best about blogs from overseas--in particular Irish and British blogs--is their complete and utter disregard for most things American. Case in point? The Academy Awards.

I must have visited over 200 blogs in the last two days. And a good 90% of those are Americans. And almost every American blog mentioned, even in passing, the Oscars. Not to mention those that 'Live-blogged' them.

Can you not watch television for yourself, that you need someone to post an update every 5 minutes containing their witty commentary on every outfit, speech, and losing nominee? Or perhaps it's more a function of THEIR need for constant attention and reinforcement of their 'status' in blog-land--this need to expound the virtues of their opinion making abilities. Whatever the reason? I hate that shit.

I couldn't care less about your minute-by-minute breakdown of what star wore what, who farted before their cue, and how hard-done-by some over-paid, under-talented shmuck happens to be because they didn't win. Boo-freaking-hoo.

/rant off

Whew. Now I feel better. I've been bottling that up for two days. Two looooooong days of blog-stalking. But it's over now. Until next year. *shudder*

So I finally returned my library books today. (Yes, this is much more fascinating than Forrest Whittaker's wife's gown, isn't it.) They were only due on the 5th January.

I'm really TERRIBLE at things with deadlines. I don't do well with taxes, library books, parking tickets, drivers' licenses, anything with a VERY IMPORTANT deadline? I suck at.

In fact, I am really bad at all manner of important things. This is why I need a significant other. I've recently come to this realization. I NEED someone to look after me in the very basic facets of life.

Oh I can do laundry, and cook, and more or less keep a roof over my own head. But it's the day to day mundane things that are far beyond my capabilities. I've had a turn signal out on my car for about 6 weeks now. My rear tail light? Someone told me about a week and a half ago. Two days ago? I found out one of my headlights is out. These are all vital to my safety and the safety of others. And they need to be fixed. But. Did I do that today? No. Did I make it a priority? No more than washing my kitchen floor, which has been on The List(tm) for at least 2 months now. Since Lynn and Stew moved in. And considering they moved OUT over a month ago? Yeah.

So anybody wanna be my boyfriend? I need to be looked after. In exchange, I can offer you a constant supply of clean socks and underwear. I am really good at making sure your toothbrush is not too old, and you will always have a good supply of toiletries, tissues, and clean towels. I will feed you on a semi-regular basis if you are not too picky. I will feed you baked goods with wild abandon. I have figured out a fairly fool-proof method for how to pay the bills on time every month, and am nearly out from under my mountain of student debt. I can be funny, am usually at least mildly entertaining, and I am quite squishy for snuggling. I can also spell.

I DO require a fair bit of reassuring so that I know you actually like me, and my baked goods. I also have a fairly voracious appetite when it comes to naked passtimes. I enjoy them a lot, and think that people should practice their technique at pretty much every opportunity. I require that you be responsible for checking and changing the oil in the car. I also need you to change the tires as required, and look after all maintenance-type issues as pertains to the auto. I just can't be bothered, really. I will fix things as it suits me, so if you really think it needs to be done? Go for it. I'll appreciate it, and I'll tell you so. But it mostly wouldn't occur to me to ask you to do it. So that would have to be Your Job.

I hate doing dishes, but if you hug me while I am washing them? It's much more pleasant for both of us.

So yeah...if you think this is a job in which you might be interested, feel free to drop an application in the comment box, or email me a line or two as to your qualifications. I'm certain the resumes will be pouring in in no time. *snickeR* Hey, with someone as wonderful as me needing to be looked after? Who could blame them?

**the fine print: those who are currently attached, or otherwise occupied, need not apply. Also, you must be ---This tall to ride this ride. Keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times, one direction only, and no head-on collisions. Enjoy the ride!

7 Comments:

  • Nice rant. I agree with you wholeheartedly.

    And now for the rest of it.

    Are you absolutely POSITIVE that you aren't really my little Fenchuch in disguise? Because from your description, you're her... EXACTLY!

    Freaking hillarious, in a freaky kinda mirrored universe way. I'm afraid I am already spoken for, though. Sorry.

    Now if Fenchurch ever DOES decide I'm more grief than she really wants to put up with.... Just kidding, sorry. She insists that she will be keeping me no matter what, and if I ever decide to get rid of her, she'll just kill me.

    Simple. Straightforward. To the point.

    One of the many things I love about her.

    I do have this brother, though....

    By Blogger Arthur Dent, At Wed Feb 28, 01:26:00 am  

  • Funny, that'd be my preferred method of disposal too. I find it much more pleasant than divorce. :)

    Is your brother prepared to move in order to maintain my car? Because there's a slight problem in that my car lives here with me on the East coast. :) Stupid details!

    By Blogger canadian sadie, At Wed Feb 28, 06:34:00 am  

  • All I have to do is look after the car and a bit of reassurance for all that? Sounds like a good deal to me.

    By Blogger Sean, At Wed Feb 28, 03:18:00 pm  

  • *giggle*...

    love it....

    Lena

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At Wed Feb 28, 11:15:00 pm  

  • there would be benefits if you and sean hooked up, considering it would be a lot easier for me to not visit both of you while attached than to not visit each of you in a single fashion.

    however.

    having said THAT, i'm more than a little amused that we have turned what should be a fluke of chemistry and good luck into a reciprical trade agreement between two people otherwise unattached.

    By Blogger chRistine, At Thu Mar 01, 05:45:00 pm  

  • but if you're willing to take out the garbage and have me clean the toilets, I WILL BE YOUR BOYFRIEND.

    By Blogger chRistine, At Thu Mar 01, 05:46:00 pm  

  • Christine? You're in! Just so long as you don't mind me finding OTHER people to be naked with. I love you to pieces, but you're not QUITE my type. ;) *hugS*

    By Blogger canadian sadie, At Thu Mar 01, 06:46:00 pm  

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