Another exciting night in paradise is upon me, here in the land of nuts and bolts. Today has to have been one of the most boring in recent memory. It was okay because I had things to do, but even the floor staff were bored for the most part.

But tonight, my poppets, tonight was an exciting time.

I don’t know how many of you were aware that there was a full lunar eclipse tonight, but it was super-cool. I didn’t get to take a photo which, had I been thinking, would have been a top priority. It was really beautiful, and incredibly cool—not to mention rare. The only thing cooler would have been if I’d been out in the country to see it instead. It made me a little wistful for being home in Ontario, something which rarely ever happens, but that thought passed as soon as the shadow began to slip from the face of the moon.

The eclipse was amazing, and L-girl has some really cool photos on her blog. As does Wossername. You should check them out.

So as it turns out, I think I’ve put my foot in it. The problem with this blog, is that it’s my diary, without being a diary. I just put my thoughts and feelings out there…things I’d never say to another person, because I’d be afraid of how they’d react. Phrases that, were I going to tell them to someone, I’d be more cautious and judicious in my word choices. However; this is my blog. This is where *I* come to rant when I’m angry, and wallow when I’m sad. I come here to think things through. I’ve always thought better on paper than I have inside my head. And when I’m feeling all emotional and topsy-turvy, I need the clarity of the written word to muddle my way through my troubles.

But I think I’ve put my foot in it. I don’t know exactly what it is that I said to cause the grief, I’m pretty sure I can guess but, as I didn’t intend to cause any grief at all, I could be wrong. I’m hoping to have the opportunity to find out and hopefully fix it. But I may not. And that makes me infinitely sad. There’s no point in crying over milk that I haven’t even spilled yet, but I have a feeling this won’t just blow over.

So if I do get a chance to sort things out, I have a feeling I may have to re-evaluate how I blog. We shall see.

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I promised you last night to tell you about how Scott and Luke sat drinking together after the manager’s meetings on Monday night.

As it turns out, Luke was named Manager of the Year this year. Pretty good birthday present, I’m thinking. (BTW, I called the store on his birthday. He was busy at the time. I didn’t bother to leave a message. Easier for him to not return it, that way.)

So, Scott was telling me that the two of them ended up sitting in the bar together after everybody else had gone back to the hotel. I have a difficult time imagining the two of them being buddies, and I said as much. I asked him what they had ended up talking about. “You.”

Niiiiice.

I replied with a “well, that must have been a fascinating 5 minutes. Then what did you do for the next two hours?” Apparently talked about how smart I am, and how driven I am to succeed. As I said…a scintillating 5 minutes. It’s a bit off-putting though, actually knowing that people were discussing you. It makes you really want to know what they said, but NOT know…because it could be a little creepy. Anyway, I’m smart enough to let the topic go and never again mention it.

I don’t think that Luke mentioned that we used to date, because I am certain that Scott would NOT have let that go. He’d have pestered me silly, wanting to know every last detail. And there’s really not that many details to share. Except that it was a mistake. A fun mistake, but a huuuuuge lapse in judgement. And now, now we don’t even speak. And we used to be friends. Yet another reason I’m so afraid to really fuck things up with Bill. I can’t imagine not having him in my life, and I don’t want to risk screwing that up too.

...

I have avoided having a beer tonight, because I was hoping to come home and drink the last three in my fridge. I was hoping for a lovely chatty night.

I was supposed to be going to a party in Elmsdale tonight, but I got to skip it due to Tamara’s unfortunate flu. I feel bad that she’s sick, but I really didn’t want to rush home, change, drive to Elmsdale, stay for a couple of hours with people I don’t know that well, then drive home so I could get up and go to work again tomorrow morning. When Tamara called to let me know she wasn’t feeling well, and that they were only going to the party for an hour themselves, I rejoiced a little bit about my Get Out of Jail Free card.

I thought about coming home and drinking my beers and catching up on some blogs, and having a chat or two. But then I saw the addresses in my sitemeter, and I read my comments…and knew that my plan was shot. And since I’m not entirely my emotionally stable self just yet (mostly, but not 100%!) I figured that adding alcohol to the mix wasn’t such a hot plan.

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Anyway…There’s a lovely party going on this week over at 5minutesformom. You should check it out. It’s not ALL about mommy-blogs, so never fear. You don’t have to read about diapers and daycares if you don’t want to. But it’s a good opportunity to meet some new folks and find some great new reads. Enjoy.

Talk to you tomorrow. After work. And after the gym. And some juicy laundry folding…you get the idea. Happy Sunday!