No time to post...

...but I can't leave that self-indulgent crap as the top post.

Although, I suppose, what is a blog if it's not self-indulgent?

My furnace has decided to stop working. It is currently quite cold in my bedroom, and nice and cozy here in the blankets. I'm supposed to be at work in 10 minutes or so, however I'm not going to be. I'm not *technically* scheduled until 8, although I have a crapload of work that needs doing...so I'm not going in until then. I want an extra hours here in the warmth.

I had a really nice visit with Amanda after work last night...she's going on a pilgrimage next week, and it was lovely to hear her talk about it a bit. Her pilgrimage is taking her to Iona, in Scotland...which causes me great envy. Both for the pilgrimage, and the trek to an area of Scotland that is still native ghaidlig speaking.

I am desperate for a vacation, but simply cannot forsee a time between now and May when I can realize that dream. Ah well. Particularly not now that I may have to shell out insanely big bucks to replace the furnace.

I knew this was a very real possibility when I bought the house. I held off on ordering my new kitchen cupboards because I was aware that I might have to drop $3K on a new heat source. But Yikes. It's a lot of cash. That I'd like to spend making the house prettier so that when I sell it, I can get more for it. But being warm is also important, so I guess we'll go with that. Who knows...it may just need cleaning or something.

All I know is that it won't stay going. I hit the reset button a few times, and I was able to get it started last night, but once it came up to temperature, it stopped...and wouldn't start again. I didn't go to bed until after 1, and at that time it was still 18.8*C...but now? It's probably about 13 or 14 if I'm lucky. Brr.

I'm fortunate that today and tomorrow are supposed to be relatively warm, so nothing inside is likely to freeze just yet. Hopefully I can get the furnace guy in today to service it. I phoned my oil company last night when I couldn't get it started at first to get them to send the tech out right away. Thankfully it started up, because when I asked him to schedule a visit from the fix-it folks, he said 'no problem!' and informed me that they're independent contractors, and while the oil company would gladly allow me to charge their services to my bill, the going rate for DAYTIME visits was $81/hour plus tax and parts. I KNEW I should have gone into a career in furnace repair! Can you imagine what the fee for an emergency call-out would have been? Yikes!

More and more I'm loving my HWB (hot water bottle).

Yesterday at work was okay. I had a steady stream of folks in and out of my office, all wanting a piece of me. I really feel more like a daycare instructor at some times than I do a manager. I didn't realize grown adults were this much WORK all the time. I just always went in to work and did my job. I didn't bitch about it, I didn't complain about everybody else, I just did my work. And when I was done doing my work, I went home. At least, I hope to hell that's what I did. I really don't want to see myself as yet another 'issue' someone else had to deal with every day!

Ah well. This too shall pass.

Today is guaranteed to be rough. I have 4 deadlines all falling today, and I'm likely to meet only 2 of them. Entirely my own fault, as I took 2 days off to do absolutely nothing except sulk and feel bad. However, it's not going to make the day any less stressful knowing that I pretty much 'chose' to not meet the deadlines. I'll try desperately all day to make everyone else happy, while trying to catch up enough to either meet, or semi-meet the deadlines, and wonder what the hell I'm doing all of this for.

Yet knowing that is what will happen, and even knowing that earlier this week, I will still be stressed out and anxious. I will still berate myself for taking the time for me earlier when I should have been focusing more clearly on my work and the tasks at hand. I know it's not logical, but it's my life.

I was talking to Amanda last night about balance. I really need to find some. I wake up in the morning stressing about work. I go to sleep at night, worrying about work. I spend all my waking moments concentrating on how to make everyone else's lives better, and I don't spend any time at all focussed on how to make MY life better. I need some balance.

Jane suggested I go to her meditation class on Tuesday night at the university. I think I may take her up on it; because as much as I mocked my mother for joining one back in the summer, I really DO appreciate the peace that meditation has to offer. Or I did when I was a kid and was taking karate. I used to meditate before each sparring match and kata when I was in tournaments. At high school, just before I went in to write an exam, I'd find a quiet place in the hallway. When everyone else was stressing out and freaking out, I'd meditate for a few minutes, and walk in calm and peaceful. I don't think it helped my results, but I felt a lot better about writing! *laugh*

I need to get to the gym. And I need to stop my bitching. I need to get off my arse and paint this house. Because if I DO decide to sell it pronto and move, I'd like to get as much for it as I can. I.e. hopefully!!! what I paid. But we shall see.

Anyway. For someone with no time, this sure turned into a rather lengthy post. I'm sure you'll cope.

Happy Friday, folks!