FW: Posting

Posting becomes harder and harder the more you don’t do it. However, in order for me to have something to post about, I need to be out having a life. The more I’m out having a life, the less I feel like posting. This is the crux of my problem.

So… I was leaving my apartment this morning, and my senses were assaulted by a number of glaring* items. (make note of this word, it will be a recurring theme!)

We had new carpet installed in my building yesterday. It’s lovely. Dark blue, with flecks of burgundy, etc in it. Lovely commercial stuff. Even though it didn’t come from my store, and to the best of my knowledge we didn’t even get to quote on the job. But that’s irrelevant to my story at this point.

I was admiring the carpet, which is incredibly smelly. I was trying not to spill my coffee on said carpet as I locked my door and juggled my personal belongings from hand to hand. The smell of carpet adhesive was overwhelmingly icky. Nauseating, in fact.

We also have pale blue painted walls…a fact I had (until today) been somewhat pleased about, in a rather understated way. Most condo buildings and apartment buildings I’ve previously lived in have that lovely shade on the wall known as ‘builder’s beige’. I was pleased that we were a bit different and that someone had actually ventured out of their comfort zone enough to paint the walls a very pale sky-blue colour. But. They used semi-gloss paint. Which is very shiny, and can be very reflective in certain lights.

This is the part of the story where it takes a turn for the worse. In the theme of home improvement, the condo-corp also took the opportunity to change all the light-bulbs in the hallway. Compact fluorescents were installed. I understand that they are energy saving. I know that they help to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. I comprehend that the Great Marketing Machine is all horny to get people using these bulbs at every opportunity. I hate them. They are GLARING, people. They GLARE. Compact fluorescent bulbs when combined with glossy paint finishes create a blinding effect that can be equalled by no force—either natural or man made. To be quite honest, I believe that they may induce strokes. (I have no scientific evidence to support this claim. Just trust me on this--I nearly passed grade 11 Chemistry. I'm a reliable source.) To clarify:

CFL bulbs + shiny paint = BLINDING GLARE.

Since I can’t seem to find the time to post at home, I’m testing out the post-via-e-mail option that Blogger is offering these days. We shall all find out how it works out, I’m thinking. Although, as I am currently at work, I think you’ll find out before I do.

I lost track of my narrative up there. I forgot to mention the other surreal thing that happened as I was leaving my apartment. (I was distracted by the shiny things!)

So…after I make it out of the Glaring Hallway of Doom (henceforth known as the GHOD) I manoeuvre through the two other doors leaving my apartment building (I’m on the first floor!!!) and make it into the exit vestibule.* There, I nearly lost my coffee. Staring up at me from the floor, was an head. This had was a carved head—some African goddess head or something of the sort. It was nifty.

I kicked it with my toe for a better look. I nearly picked it up and kept it in my pocket for a good-luck token for the day. Then I realized that it hadn’t been so lucky for neither the person that lost it, nor the person whose head had been shrunken and strung on a necklace. Thus, I decided to leave the unlucky deity lying on the ground where I found it.

It’s been a busy day here at the store and I’ve been having a challenging time getting anything done with so many customer ‘concerns’. What the hell is it that gets into people that they think their petty little problem is the end of the world? Allow me to give you an example.

For the record, I do not work at Colour Your World.

A lady came into the paint department today. She brought her can of paint from CYW in with her. It was light beige. She wanted us to tint it to a very dark brown colour. Our paint department manager has explained to this lady several times prior to this that there is only so much tint one can of paint can take, and that once you begin deviating from the colour formula, you do not know what you may end up with. She patiently explained this to the customer once more. She also indicated that we do not tint paint from other companies.

The woman LOST IT. I mean yelling and screaming. “Why the fuck can’t you tint it? It’s fucking PAINT isn’t it? Your attitude sucks. Why are you such a bitch? You think that mixing fucking paint all day makes you some kind of fucking EXPERT?” And so on.

She then wanted to talk to a manager—which is me.

Duty calls—more when I get home. We can find out together if this works!