Ahem.

Wow. So much.

Last post was a Tuesday. Wednesday morning I flew home to Ontario for a 2-day whirlwind trip. My grandmother's funeral was Thursday morning, and I flew back to the coast on Friday morning.

It was surprisingly wonderful, that trip. I got to spend Wednesday just hanging out with my sister and my brother-in-law. Wednesday night, I drove north to P'bo with my dad and my cousin (who I hadn't seen in about 15 years). Dad and I stayed in a formerly trendy hotel/motel which is now decidedly on the seedy-side of things. It was clean and safe though, and I was sooooo exhausted that it didn't really much matter to me. I passed out, and slept so soundly it could have been a park bench for all I knew.

Thursday was all family, all day long. Dad and I got to the cemetery chapel at 8:45 am and met one of my aunts there. After that, it was a steady stream of cousins, aunts, uncles, and family. It was actually really nice to see everyone. My mom & sister & BIL drove up together on Thursday morning--and one of my mom's brother's came too. It was really great to see him--and I know it was nice for mom to have the moral support too.

Thursday afternoon we left P'bo at about 2...and my dad, mum, Amy & Jer and I all had lunch at a road-side dive. It was seriously one of the worst meals I have ever eaten in my life. But it was great having everyone together in one spot. I was glad to get to spend a little bit of time with my mom, because it really was a whirlwind trip and it was the only 'social' time I got with her.

Thursday evening I spent hanging with Amy & Jer in the backyard, enjoying the sunshine and having some beer. What a great day. In the evening, Angela came by and we went down to the Rhino for some food & drinks. It was great to be able to just hang out with Amy & Jer and Ange.

Friday morning had me at the airport by 6:15 am. Angela dropped me off, although that made Amy mad at me. She'll get over it some time, I'm sure. I just didn't want her driving half way across town 2 hours earlier than she needed to be up for school when Angela was already getting up early to go to the gym.

I was in Moncton by 11 am, and home by 12:30.

I stopped at the mall to buy some underwear. I was originally going in to buy something functional...but I stopped at a lingerie store and actually got MEASURED for a bra. Go figure, I've been wearing the wrong size for the last 15 years.

I dropped $150 on a bra and undies. It was a mistake. The bra is fabulous...pretty, fits well, and I love it. But I only bought the panties because they matched and were kinda pretty. I didn't realize until I was walking away that I had paid $59 for a pair of undies that I didn't particularly LIKE. Oh well, I look FABULOUS in them. ;)

So part of the reason I rushed home on Friday--I could have stayed until Sunday, I was off for the weekend already--was because I had Sadies tickets for Friday night at the Marquee in Halifax (birthday present from DD).

I had decided after his last visit to invite him to go with me...he was quite happy about it. He was also quite content to not go, considering why I was rushing home--but I found myself actually WANTING to be at the show...and to be at the show with him. So I bought my ticket with a Friday return.

There was (and still is) far too much drama at work about this--but I've chosen to ignore it and pretty much pretend it doesn't exist. I have enough other issues to deal with, without worrying about something that my COO doesn't seem to see as an issue.

Friday afternoon, DD came by the house as I was finishing up a load of laundry to take with me to the city. We hung out for a bit until I was packed up, and then headed out on the road.

We took my car, which is the first time in a long time that I've driven it to the city. It just seemed less political that way--so I was happy to do that. We didn't actually discuss it, I just did it.

Lunch at Masstown Market, coffee at Stewiacke, candy at Freak Lunchbox, and then a trek to the liquor store and CT for an errand. After those few stops, we went to the hotel to check in. The hotel had its own dog!!! She was amazing--a chocolate lab named Cocoa. She's beautiful. The hotel was also nice.

It was a bit awkward at first--I was glad that we were there, but I felt cheesy, and corny, and a bit like an awkward teenager. But I got over that. We drank some fun beverages and headed out to the show.

What a great show! Good times. I bought a hoodie--I NEVER buy merch at shows, but it was sooooo awesome.

Saturday morning we went to the market for breakfast and a wander. We then went shopping for sailboat parts, and to the Dingle. We stopped in Windsor to visit with Lynn and Stu, and stopped at the Spitfire for a drink and a snack. A FANTASTIC day overall.

We kinda took the long road back to the highway, which was unintentional, and not as much fun as it could have been. I was feeling particularly guilty for keeping DD from home, as he had a commitment to his boy for Sunday morning and wanted to spend some time chilling with him on Saturday evening as well. DD said it was fine, but *I* am the queen of guilt and felt terrible about being not-quite-lost.

Anyway, it was a FABULOUS weekend. I had been concerned about liking him out of spite, or just because I was flattered that he was actually showing me he liked me. And to be honest, I still was concerned about that after the weekend.

But he called me to chat on Monday. And it was awesome. And we made plans for Thursday.

He was supposed to be coming here for BBQ and hanging out. Work intervened though, and he had to stay in SJ. Also, his best friend called him and called in a favour to work on his lawn. I was far more disappointed than I thought I would be. And not just because I suddenly didn't have any plans...I had tons of stuff that I could have done instead. I was disappointed that I wasn't going to see him.

So I called him back. I said, 'tell me if I'm being too pushy--but how long will Buddy's thing take?' 'I don't know...couple of hours, not more. Why?' 'Wanna catch a late movie? I can come to SJ if you want...but if not, that's okay, just say so.'

He was thrilled with the idea. And surprised. And happy. :-) We went to see Ironman. It was good. I hadn't been to the movies in AAAAGES...I always forget how much I love the experience of going to the theatre. Anyway...I realized about 15 minutes out of town that I was driving directly into the den of the lion...and wearing a dress made of meat. I was driving my company truck right smack into head-quarters town. *laugh* Take that, corporate uptightists!

During the movie, he held my hand. Kinda my idea, but he was super-game and didn't want to let go. It was awesome. It's been a long time since a boy wanted to hold hands with me. And I absolutely LOOOOVE holding hands. After, we drank tea on his sofa, and made out. *GRIN* I kinda like making out. A lot. His folks live with him (or the other way around--not sure, but it makes for free and frequent child-care) so it was kinda high-school like. In the 'I'm a grownup so this is fun--not creepy' kind of way.

I didn't end up leaving SJ until 2:20 am. BAD PLAN. At 3:30 I stopped at the BigStop and had a nap in the parking lot. At 4:30 I continued the rest of the way home...at 5:10 I climbed into my bed for another 4 hours of sleep before work on Friday. Very much worth it. I had a lovely time. :-)

I talked to DD on the phone for almost an hour last night. About nothing in particular. He mentioned how flattered he was that I drove to SJ to see him. I pointed out (AGAIN) that he comes here to see me all the time. He said that nobody had ever made a special trip to see him before. I suggested that they SHOULD have. Everybody deserves to be treated like they're special. Because they are. :-) Anyway...on Thursday night, he had said 'I'll come by on Monday.'

Yesterday on the phone he said something about coming by on Wednesday. I said 'oh, Wednesday? Not Monday after all? Okay.' He said 'Monday is okay too!' I said 'well, Monday, Wednesday...whichever. Either is fine with me. Or both. Whichever.'

He said 'I'm leaning towards both, if that's really okay with you.'

Anyway...surprisingly enough...it IS okay with me. And I don't think anybody is more surprised by that than me.

I was really worried that my motivations were wrong. And I don't think that they are. I just really want to make sure that I'm not rebounding here, because he's far too nice a man for me to hurt un-necessarily. He's so awkward at boy-girl stuff. And it's funny--I'm not so good at it either. I am great at it when I don't actually care. But...I figure that if I'm prepared to give up 2 days with my family to spend one day with a boy...and that if I'm willing to drive 4 hours in one day to go to the movies with a boy...something's gotta be okay with it. :-)

So tomorrow's Monday...and the boy is coming to visit me. Which will be good, because the COB starts back at work tomorrow, and the drama will begin yet again. Things have been shitty, but not as horrible as before, at work lately. The COB is certain to make things as horrible as possible as quickly as she can. I just need to remember that I AM THE BOSS and she can suck it.

It's a lot easier to put things in perspective when I have positives to focus on.

Oh YEAH!!! BEST POSITIVE EVER!!! I'm getting a dog! :-) His name is Darwin and he comes to live with me on the 21st. I'll tell you all about him next time...I'm exhausted now, and it's 1 am. Tomorrow's going to be a loooong day at the orifice.

Missing you all--sorry I'm such a slacker.