Sunday

Haven't you always wanted one of these?!

It'd be the freaking coolest. I really liked the chair with the tube slide. It's like having an ejector seat, only sneakier!

This is an old post, but I went back to re-read it tonight, and I still support Rick. And not just because I had large quantities of the deliciously malty beverage last evening.

Which brings us to Saturday night. I wasn't going to go out. I was going to stay home and rag on my roomie for being a deadbeat loser who has not as of yet paid his March rent.* Luckily for me, Heidi twisted my rubber arm by uttering the magical phrase. "Lower Deck". It's my happy place, as many of you are already aware.

*He gets paid tomorrow, and has promised that it will be paid promptly upon receipt of said cheque. We shall see. I need to be much more of a bitch about this. It's causing me huge stress, and I can't live with that. The whole point to having a roomie was to make my life EASIER, financially speaking at least

So...We went out. And a blast was had. Lots of beer was drunk. I nearly kicked the crap out of some married guy who kept putting his arm around me. I removed it several times, quite politely, but very firmly making it clear that I didn't like being touched. He suggested I was weird. And that I just didn't know that I liked it. I made it very clear that I wasn't cool with that. I suggested that I had an allergy to wedding rings. He made a point of letting me know "You're not all that." "I'm well aware of that." "Well. Then. Because you're not!" "We're agreed then. And since I'm NOT all that, you won't mind fucking off and leaving me alone now." Went over well, I'm sure you'll understand.

His buddies were very nice, but he was an ass. The single one (Chad--he comes back into the story later) took him aside and explained that he was being an asshole and that he should stop. "You're out of control, buddy. Cool it." Drunk guy did not cool it. In fact, another girl had him kicked out.

So. Back to Chad. Not usually my type. But he was cute, and I was loaded. And my only resolution for this year was to be more adventurous and to worry less about other people's perceptions of me. (Or what I THINK they think of me anyway!) I kissed my second man in a bar ever.

The first, was also at The Lower Deck. It was my birthday when I turned 29. We were out celebrating quite vigorously, as I wasn't sure I was going to want to celebrate the next year, and it was an evening of firsts. After the second pitcher drinking contest, I met a bunch of sailors(the Navy kind). I picked a rather attractive one, and stated boldly "You know, I've never kissed a sailor before." He asked if I'd like to rectify that, and so I did. It was fun.

Last night, was the second. It wasn't full-on snogging or anything like that, but I did smooch a stranger in a public place. It was quite lovely, so I was overly pleased with myself. It's an highly un-Sadie thing to do. It's nice to have a friend to go out with that doesn't have a preconceived notion of who you are,; it makes these breaches in judgment much easier to live with *grin*.

After the Lower Deck closed, we went upstairs to the taproom and danced up a storm. Chad's friends all went home to their families, and he came up to dance with Heidi and I. We had another beverage (highly unnecessary at this point in the evening), and danced like demons. This is when the smooch happened. Then there was much more dancing. Fun times.

We all took a cab back to Heidi's place. Her roomie/boyfriend/ex-beau was out of town, so there was plenty of room for crashing. I was supposed to have Rob's room, but spent most of the evening making out on the couch instead. It was fun. And although I'm a bold smoocher with mad skillz, it's nice for me to be able to say I'm still an uptight prude about strangers.

So. Fun was had, beer was drunk, booties were shaken, egos were stroked, and smooching was smooched. Fun. :)

One of the best things about it, other than my break from my senses, is the boost it gave my ego. I don't feel like a bar-slut (because I'm definitely not). I met a really nice guy with a decent job and the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation. (We debated the commercial viability of retail lumberyards versus the traditional sort. I'd like to do that again when I'm not loaded.)

When I was with Luke, compliments came few and far between. I came out of that relationship really questioning my 'presence'. I hadn't had the validation of 'you're pretty', 'you're sexy', or even 'I really like you'. That was missing in my primary relationship for over a year. That's just plain WRONG. Last night, I met someone who didn't mind telling me that he thought I was, indeed, all that. It was refreshingly nice.

I know it sounds shallow, but I really liked having that validation. I know I don't look like I got hit in the face with a shovel. I know I've had a lot of attention in the past because I'm fairly symmetrical. I've been told on occasion that men are intimidated by me (boggles the mind, really). But...I need the external validation. I know it's wrong, but there it is. And yesterday, I got it.

Maybe if I'd heard that a bit more when I cut my hair, I wouldn't be so fired up to grow it back again. Because, frankly, it was a hot little haircut and I loved it. But because every man I know told me "Why'd you cut it? You had such beautiful hair!" and because no strangers ever even gave me the time of day, I felt very unattractive. And I felt so unsexy, that I need to grow it back, no matter how much better it looks short! :) Yep, shallow, that's me.

Anyway...This is enough babbling about things that I usually don't tell people about for one night. And I promise that this blog will not become 'the misadventures of Sadie' any time soon. You will not hear many more tales of smooching strangers--I don't intend to change my personality completely! And the full-disclosure bit? I really don't think I could keep it up if I tried. I'm naturally secretive and reserved. And I kinda like it that way. It's much safer. :)