Cleaning house

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Sorry folks

Oops...I owe you the tail end of that last post. I promised to tell you what happened with Andrew (the rich one, for those of you that are confused!) on Tuesday night. It was bizarre.

We drank coffee on Wednesday night, and it was okay. Uneventful, dull, and okay.

Our days are numbered though, I tell you. I need to figure out how to crush him without causing him permanent emotional scaring though...So much responsibility!!! Anyway--here's Tuesday night in a nutshell.


Tonight I was trying to go to Shakespeare by the Sea, but I lost my keys and couldn't leave the house on time. Which was okay, as Dan had invited himself along and I wasn't really looking forward to the whole non-date event. So instead, we tried to see a movie. And we were again thwarted. So we went to eat. After which, I had the joy of the uncomfortable discussion as to why I didn't think it would be good for us to date. The main reason being that I didn't like him. But I couldn't come out and SAY that, because that would be mean. ARgh. So instead, I indicated that I was perhaps just not ready to be seeing anyone exclusively, and that I was very sorry, but was unable to accept the position of 'Girlfriend' or 'main squeeze' at this time. He seemed to 'get it', and was pretty cool...And I think we'll be able to hang again at some point in the distant future.


So then...

I've been VERY casually drinking coffee with a Andrew for a while now. A month, in fact. And that's all we've done is drink coffee. We've smooched a little. AFTER A MONTH. Which is okay. Because honestly? It's taken so long to get anywhere? I lost all desire to even GO anywhere. I wasn't even certain that he liked me (except for his bold and probing questions at the beginning--and the freaking jewelry--don't forget the jewelry!).. I thought we were just chillin'. But apparently not.

We watched a movie on Sunday--which brought on some more enthusiastic smooches. Quite innocent, just smooches. Which was okay, because it made quite clear to me that he's not really my type physically. Nice, kind, AMAZING kisser...but...That's it. No spark, really. Anyway. Some good times kissing.

I didn't really think much of it, to be honest. I didn't hear from him Monday, but got a phone message today while I was out. So I called him back before I was leaving for the play, and said I had plans, but that I'd stop in on my way home if he was going to be around. He said "yeah, please do, I'd like to see you!"

So. I stopped in on the way home from the play-turned-dinner-turned-awkward-conversation...Just to say hello. I flopped on the couch, picked up a book and thumbed through it while he was in the kitchen, and he came in, sat down at the other end of the couch, and flipped on the TV. The remote was sitting on the couch, and I flipped channels while we chatted. He got stressed out, so I put it back on PBS and gave him the remote.

We had a discussion about something in the book (here's where it turns!)...And then I mentioned the girl on the TV's teeth, and how my friend Jelena just had hers fixed and they look sooooo much better that it was worth the exorbitant amounts of cash she had to pay. We had a rather vapid discussion as to what a difference nice teeth makes, and how much more likely people who 'look good' are to succeed, as well as generally how they get paid more. Yeah. So this is what *I* thought had just happened.

But apparently, we were FIGHTING about how people look.

"I don't want to have a fight about something every time I see you!"

"pardon? (Truly bewildered) When have we ever had a disagreement about ANYTHING?"

"what do you call this?!"

So YEAH. Guess who said..."Um...Yeah.....Sorry, apparently I upset you somehow. I thought we were having a discussion. What did I do wrong here?"

"If you don't get it, you just don't get it. I'm not going to TELL you."

Inside my head, I was saying..."WTF?! Is this guy for real? What just happened here? Where the hell are my shoes?!"

I apologized again for upsetting him, and said "Yeah, I think I'm going to go now."

"You think leaving is going to solve this?!"

"I don't think that sitting here continuing this particular conversation is going to solve much of ANYTHING at all."

We discussed a bit more while I stood at the door (okay, this part wasn't a discussion--I was pissed off). I moved back to the chair because I'm never one to walk away from a good argument once it's started.

I apologized for flopping on the couch and picking up a book, "Apparently I assumed a comfort level that just doesn't exist."

He said that he was feeling a bit 'territorial'. I said "Perhaps part of your 'territorial issue' issue is that we haven't spent any time together in public."

He said, "We've been in public...We were at Tim Horton's...And the park..."

"Tim Horton's doesn't count. Because my perception is that this whole thing? Has happened because you have no idea who *I* am. You keep saying that "This is who I am...Better to find out now!" Well...Here's lesson number one for YOU. I flop on the furniture. And I touch books. And I take the remote. And I like a good discussion. I enjoy chatting. I'm noisy. I'm outgoing. And I'm not going to change. This is WHO *I* AM. And you need to get used to that. Or not, as the case may be."

I'm not used to a boy/man who's so touchy-feely about his emotions. It's interesting that he feels compelled to put a name to everything he feels, because I'm not like that; and quite frankly, I find the whole thing a bit off-putting.


Just as an aside, in a couple of the days that you missed out on getting posts from me, I'd had the conversation with Andrew that we were not exclusive. That we were going VERY slowly, and might make it to dating one day, but were not there yet. So. The next part will make more sense to you once you know that...Since I did some back-reading, and your last impression would likely have been from my giddy post about the smooching and the fact that I thought he was pretty nifty. Which I do...And the smooching IS good...But he's got some emotional issues, and I wasn't sure how I wanted to deal with them, or even if I could...So we had a chat about NOT being serious.

Back to the show...
Also, it came out...That his perception was that we were dating. Exclusively. And that he was my boyfriend.

Which was front page news to me, as we hadn't actually had THAT discussion. We'd had exactly the OPPOSITE discussion. I must have missed the memo. What the hell did he think I was doing, when I told him what I did on Friday and Saturday nights? I mentioned where I was and who I was with...Keith, and then Bill and Keith. I have a lot of male friends, but that would just be plain mean. Not to mention that I just wouldn't DO that if I were seeing someone.

Anyway...It was bizarre. And so much not my scene it's ridiculous. Draaama. Yeah.

So I left fairly quickly after the 'you're not my boyfriend' chat. Stating clearly that perhaps he needed to take a step or two back and reflect on where exactly that perception came from. And that it never came directly from ME.

So yeah. I'm fully expecting that now I have to have another discussion tomorrow once he's had a day to relax and take some meds.

How is it that seemingly normal people can be so messed up? Maybe I'm NOT ready to have a boyfriend...If they're all fucking froot-loops.


So yeah, that's what I emailed Bill when I got home. I should have blogged it, and I mentioned to him that I was planning to cut and paste it...But I didn't blog it. Well, not on Tuesday night anyway. :) But Bill didn't mind that I was CC'ing his email to all of you...Particularly since I have proprietary rights. *laugh*

So...g'night. Back to your regularly scheduled posts tomorrow.


  • holy cow!!! YES, you are right, he has some emotional issues to deal with and if I were you... the 'just friends' aspect is the way to go -- for now anyway!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At Mon Sep 04, 01:34:00 pm  

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