Cleaning house

Monday, July 11, 2005

Sunday

Lots to report and nothing to report. Lots of nothing.

Slept until 11:00. Worked from 12 to 5. Came home, stuffed chicken breasts, roasted potatoes, ate them both.

Read Mimi Smartypants blog for several hours while food cooked. At 10:00, when I should have been going to bed, I finally began cleaning theliving room--which has been nasty for over 3 weeks now. I rearranged the furniture, which looks much better. Tomorrow night, I will hang pictures. I tend to get manic on Sunday nights a lot. Don't exactly know why, but I get the most stuff accomplished after 10:00 pm.

Chatted with variax for a while, and that was good. I explained that it was his responsibility to keep me from becoming a freaky-stalker-like ex-girlfriend.

I struck a little bit of an insight while we were chatting.

I have never wanted to be like THOSE girls. The ones that get all mushy and sappy and jealous and sobby. It bothers me greatly that someone might possibly think that about me. It bothers me more, that it's an unalienable truth that we're all like that a little bit and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Stupid girls. Why can't I just have sex with no conscience and never become emotionally attached to anyone?

I keep thinking though, that if I"m hurting this much after only 14 months...how hard must this be for mum? And she has to face him every day knowing that things will never be good again. How horrible. How excruciating. How neverendingly gut-kickingly sob-into-your-pillow-because-you-feel-so-alone awful.

My life could be a lot worse. I could have been married to the jackass.

My living room looks great. :)

And oh yeah--I stole cable tonight.

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