Fine then.

I guess that since the fates seem to be conspiring against me by leaving me no blogs to read, no tv to watch, and no sleep to have--I might as well blog.

Things are...messed up. Getting better, but messed the fuck up. The finances are in the gutter. The job is just Meh at the best of times. And I'm still waiting on an expense cheque from my move (11 months ago--but who's counting?) My car is still being held hostage in Sackville (this is the end of month 3) -- where it will remain until I get my expense cheque and can pay the ransom.

I'm not hating being a bus person, but I think that's mainly because I've been quite lucky to work with some great folks. My boss picks me up every morning at 6:45 AM, saving me an extra 15 minutes at the house. I can generally get a ride home at night-time, saving me the 1.5 hours it takes to make a 10 minute trip home. I've just had to bus that a couple of times--and I don't actually mind it. The only thing that I really dislike about it, is the amount of time it adds to my already long days at work, and that it keeps me from my dog that much longer. I feel quite guilty about the amount of time he spends home alone.

I'll likely continue the bus commute for any day shifts that I work, even once the car comes home. The timing is convenient, and it will save me a ton of money on gas and wear and tear. I just don't like mooching rides at night time, because even though I've driven people home hundreds of times over the last 10 years, I hate asking. I know most people don't mind, but I don't like to count on that at 10:00 pm. Particularly in the rain or snow.

I have Wednesday off, and my mission for Wednesday is to piece together a current resume. I don't have one. I opened the classifieds on Saturday morning at work, and a job jumped out at me and screamed "SADIE!!! THIS IS FOR YOU!!!" so I figure that I should listen or something. The application deadline is next Monday, so I have a bit of time for tweaking.

I've been thinking a lot over the last couple of weeks about what I want/need to change in my life. I work too many hours at my current job for the limited amount of opportunity for growth that is available to me. I love what I do, and I'm quite good at it; but if there's nowhere to GO from here, then I need to go OUT from here. And, dammit, I want a life again. I want to take Gaelic class in the evenings. I'd like to develop a routine. I'd love to have my evenings and weekends free, like most of the mythical people I read about on the internet. I've never known any of those people...but I think I'd like to be one of them. I'd like to try it, at least.

Anyway--bedtime. Because 5 am comes early. *shudder*

G'night, poppets. I've missed you.

Traffic court.

That's where I'm at. I've been ridiculously anxious about it for the last few weeks, waiting and worrying and imagining all the horrible outcomes that might be heading my way. Now I sit here on the floor in the hall of the courthouse-waiting.

I have to say, I don't get the feeling that this is going to be as serious as I had imagined. Apparently, this is just to enter a plea and then we have to come back to tell our tales of woe. Hrmph.

***
Well, that was fairly uneventful. Now I go back in November to explain my little saga. At least I got a little Blog out of it, considering I've been trying to write for weeks now. Maybe a real post tonight. A girl can dare to dream!

it's been a long week

I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted; mainly because I've been doing it all week--in my head.

I was in SJ for meetings and and awards banquet on Monday and Tuesday. I won a PS3 as a door prize. That was the good part. Oh yes, and the bed at the Hilton was AMAZING. So comfy! I had a great sleep there--short though it was. Monday night we all hung out at the bar downstairs. It was nice to socialize with some old acquaintances again. It's only been a month since last time, but it was still lovely. Alas though, not much sleep.

Wednesday through Saturday I worked. I closed every day. I did not have a day off. I've been stuck in a shit-storm at work, and I don't seem to be able to get out of it. There's so much childish drama going on that I'm considering switching the job title on my business card from 'manager' to 'daycare supervisor'. I've got a couple of very 'hard manages' in terms of personalities, and I'm trying desperately to figure out how to get the best out of them and keep them happy. So far everything I've tried has NOT worked.

Friday night I went to the pub here in town to see Floyd King play. I used to see him periodically on Thirstday nights at the Celtic Corner. I was excited to go. He played songs that he had actually written himself, which he never did at the CC. He's quite a talented songwriter. My new bud Nancy came with me.

Saturday night I sat and watched some television for the first time in ages. My baby sister called me. She was loaded. She only seems to call when she's loaded. My mother told her that I was trying to get a flight home, but that I wasn't having any luck. Why my mother would do this is a mystery to me. I understand that she was excited that I was thinking about coming home for a visit and wanted to share--but Amy's 30th birthday is this Thursday. Amy wanted me to come home for it, and I absolutely cannot do it, work-wise. Amy called me all sad and depressed and DRUNK to tell me how much she misses me, and how 'absolutely tickled' she'd be to see me. And how happy she'd be. And, and, and. I know that most of it was drunken rambling--but at the same time, Mum knows how upset Amy gets about things. It would have been the smart thing to do to keep her trap shut.

I was still angry about it on Sunday, so I didn't call home yesterday to talk to my mom. I knew I'd say something about it, and that would upset my mother, who didn't mean anything by it in the first place...so it wasn't worth the battle. Blargle. Family politics.

I've been up too late reading blogs all week. I've been not sleeping worrying about work. When I'm at work I don't seem to be getting anything accomplished.

I was going to spend all day Sunday catching up on work at the store, but it stormed to beat the band in the morning. Which meant my entire day was shot, as I suffer from a chronic case of inertia. Once I'm sitting doing nothing, I continue to sit doing nothing. It was a pretty much wasted day. Except that I baked cookies. That was good.

I don't know if I had a really bad case of the Sunday blues last night, or if I'm slipping back into a funk. I think it's the latter, but I'm hoping it's the former.

I haven't been returning phone calls from people I'd love to talk to. I can't be bothered to do the simplest of tasks, even though I know they would be short and simple and then OVER. This is not unusual for me, but it's lasting a lot longer than usual. I'm a person who has to function under the 'do it now' principle. If I don't do something right when I think about it, it doesn't happen. Too many other things get in the way.

In good news, I won a book from (NSFW) The Red Sneaker Diaries. I'm very excited about it. I never win anything! Granted, I won it because I haven't had sex in longer than everyone else who entered, and Red felt sorry for me...but I'm okay with that. A pity win is still a win! And a lovely coffee-table book about sex is kind of a nice thing to win.

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have kids--I can actually leave this out on my coffe table! *laugh*

Oh well...quarter to seven, and it's going to be a VERY long day today. My new Assistant starts today, my DM will be here to talk with him, and to rag me out for various and sundry things. I should go and get a start. I hope you all have a lovely week! Wish me luck!