a link. for you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdAjGXFJw3s

Friday night fun!

Heading out for a drink (or two) with Joanne. Can't wait. Haven't been out with her in months...and I REALLY need the society of a crowded bar tonight.

And I need to do it with a girl so I can flirt, and smile, and feel attractive to boys. Sounds flakey when I put it like that, but it's probably the most honest statement I've made all day. :)

Have fun, poppets!

Posting Drama

I had been working on a post at work tonight, and emailed it to myself to finish up once I got home. It's been my plan all day, actually.

But tonight? I got home...and found an emailed comment in my in-box. Regarding my not posting. Which boggled my mind...as I've BEEN posting.

I did a quick check of my blog, and sure 'nuff, it came up with posts on MY computer. So I checked into my settings, and went in to 'edit posts'. It shows my posts as sitting there in DRAFT mode. Which is freaking bizarre, because as I said, when I type in the site addy? I get to see them in their full posted glory.

So I'm working on it with Blogger Help...and hopefully you too will see my post in all it's fully posted, wordful glory. It sucks that I'm going to miss out on NaBloPoMo...but whatever. *I* know I did it. :)

In the meantime, I'm going to go and finish today's post and wait for the Blogger masterminds to help me out. :)

Wentworth's big night.

So it was tonight...Prison Break. My weekly date with Wentworth Miller...man'o'my'dreams.

*SWOON*

H came over to watch with me, and get caught up. I haven't seen much of her at all since she announced her pregnancy. It was really nice to see her, and to chat a bit. But I don't know what made me think that her insatiable need for drama would be lessened any simply because she was pregnant.

This is going to sound harsh, and it will...no matter how I say it. But say it, I will.

She's having a lot of 'issues' with her pregnancy. She's 39 years old, and is not the ideal candidate for first-time motherhood. So some issues are to be expected. But right from the beginning, there have been issues that I have not even bothered to begin to understand.

When she first said that the doctors suggested she might have to terminate her pregnancy because there were too many possible difficulties. The baby wasn't developing properly, it was going to have birth defects, it was going to be stillborn. Any number of horrifying and impossible outcomes. Complete with percentages and probabilities.

I didn't ask a whole lot of questions, because frankly? I didn't know what to say, and how to respond. And as it turns out? I was right to not really question much.

Her story has changed several times. Her drama has increased exponentially as her pregnancy has progressed. She talks all the time about the possible need to terminate. And yet? It turns out that the termination may be optional. She had an amnio, but has not yet heard results. And if there was a NEED to terminate? I'm pretty sure that the doctors would have made sure she had the results prior to the 4 month mark.

She talks about percentages of likelihood of CP, of retardation, of all kinds of things. And all I can think about is that "Sure, you've got a 1:500 chance they'll have it...but you have a 499:500 chance that they won't!" I don't understand the pessimism, I guess. If you're happy about being pregnant (and she claims to be) then embrace it. Accept that there are inherent risks with anything. Accept that women have been doing this without benefit of tests and percentages for thousands of years. And be happy.

I guess that's all I've got for tonight. I'm having a hard time keeping my opinions to myself in the Real World. So you all have to be subjected to them. I'm sure you'll survive.

Sickly Sunday

I'm not feeling so hot.

It's mostly my own fault. I'm exhausted. I was out far too late last night, and had a great time. Surprisingly good, in fact.

Tonight, I chatted with Scott P. and Bill. I was a bit melancholy. And it's directly related to Bill's new POF profile. It's nothing special, but it's different. And I shouldn't care, but I do. I had been working on mine too...even though I'm not sure I want to use it right now.

But I think it's best for us both if we start seeing someone else. Because I have no idea what the hell is going on with us. We're friends. We're not anything 'more' per se. But the connection is still there intellectually, and we're still so close...it's a bizarre situation and I'm not sure what the hell is the solution.

Well, I am sure. It's a complete break. But I'm not prepared to do that yet--so I think that I need to get myself busy with someone else. I hope I can find a connection like this again soon--because I need it. Now? I even crave it.

I'd forgotten how amazing it can be when you've got something dynamic with another human being. When you connect on a level that other people just don't get.

I think he feels the same way about the connection...but we just weren't working. I don't know. Anyway. Moving on :) That's what we're working on. :)

I'm taking myself to bed now, hoping I can head off the flu that has been making the rounds. My throat is sore, and my joints are still achey...but i'm hoping it's just over-tired and not actual sick.

Here's hoping. :)

Copper Penny Saturday.

I'm heading out to the Copper Penny with Tamara and Ben and a bunch of folks. I hate it there, but I enjoy Tamara and Ben. So I'm going.

I'll be blogging when I get back, but as I just got home from work, changed my clothes, and am now heading out again? This is it before the 12:00 am deadline for today. Don't think it's because I don't love you. Trust me, I'd rather be here blogging and reading your blogs than going to the Penny.

At least this way though? I'll be able to regale you with tales of creeps, filth, and trashy fights. :) I bet you can hardly wait!!!

Tomorrow, poppets :) Tomorrow.

An Achey Friday

I'm so achey. My joints hurt. There's only so much ibuprofen one person can ingest. [/whinging off]

Went to Celtic Corner with Bill last night, and had a great time. Best time in ages. We get along so well...it's going to make me sad when we both meet people and can't be friends like this anymore. It's how I felt when Dale and I couldn't be as close anymore.

But it's part of life.

I just hope that someday I find this kind of really close bond with someone that I can love...that can love me back the way I deserve. The way I want to have my future turn out.

I'm too tired to post more...but man, was last night fun. We were talking until 2, then i was home by 2:30 and couldn't sleep until 3:30....worked all day today. Now I"m achey and 'discussing' life with Scotty.

I'm a very fortunate girl, to have a few aches be the worst of my worries. :)

Night folks. :)

Early posting.

I think I'm going to go out for a drink...so here's a short little post.

My joints are all aching. The weather's been changing so much lately. So warm in the daytime. Warmer in the evening, even, than it should be. But it's foggy and misty tonight. It's so humid and damp that I ache all over. Mostly in my knees. Damn trucks. But that's a story for another time.

I don't know how I came across this, but...it's surreally lovely.

I need to vacuum, iron my shirt, find pants without a hole in them, and locate some socks for tomorrow morning. We're having a big visit. Our COO, our HR director, my DM, and two other DMs will be in the store. I should be there now, sprucing things up and such. But I'm not. I came home. Because for some reason? I'm cranky. Could be the pain. Could be the lack of sleep. I think I got a whole 3 hours last night.

Tonight? I should be going to bed right now...but instead? I am hoping to persuade Bill to join me for a beverage. I need to find some unattached girlfriends so I can go out at the weekends and meet some new boys. Unless any of you know some? :) I'm nice, I swear! :) And I (mostly) don't look like I got hit in the face with a shovel. (I *DO* look kinda like my avatar...just not quite so pretty as the cartoon girl, and with a lot less style!)

Have a good night folks--if I don't go out, expect multiple posts. :)

Wednesday is crappy title day!

Here we are on Wednesday, and I bet you didn't even realize that it was going to be Crappy Title Day!

I find that some days it's harder than others to come up with clever and interesting titles. Not that my post titles are EVER that interesting, but some days? Some days it's hard to even come up with a Crappy Title.

I was feeling particularly guilty about yesterday's crappy post. It got me looking through my own archives, initially to remind myself that all my posts are pretty mundane and that I shouldn't feel bad about just putting in time. Except that I ran across a couple of posts that gave me pause. They must have been posted by aliens, because I found they were actually NotThatBad. Which then made me feel shallow and conceited for thinking that about myself. So I went to bed instead of giving you the 'proper post' that I had promised.

But today? I don't feel that bad about thinking it. I used to be able to write. Stories, even. With honest-to-goodness story lines, plots, and character development. It's bizarre how those skills have disappeared. In fact, I think they've gone to the trouble to run screaming in the other direction!

I wasted away my entire day off today. I sat and read blogs, played Spider Solitaire, and watched bad television. The sole thing I accomplished? Was that at 8:15 tonight? I finally left the house to return my digital cable boxes to the cable company. I've arranged to have my cable turned off as of Friday. Here's hoping they don't mess with my internet or telephone. They say nothing of the sort will happen, but it'd be just my luck that Friday will see me incognito--albeit unwillfully so.

I've determined that the new job that I think is the most dangerous in the world is the furnace operator at a steel mill. Followed closely by cab-driving and mining. Bill sent me some photos of a friend of his after an accident. The job looks fascinating, but holy dangerous, Batman!

You know? My posts have been so long lately that when I don't run to 3 pages I feel that I'm not being productive enough here either.

I've been decidedly unproductive in my life lately. I realized exactly how much I can accomplish when I want to on Saturday. I pretty much had to wait until Dom left for the airport to do any REAL cleaning...and man, did I ever accomplish a lot! My apartment hasn't ever looked better. Granted, my bedroom still looks like hell, but I'm working on that. Well, i SHOULD be working on that. But I'm not. And that's the problem, really.

I brought out some laundry to fold earlier today. I folded a tiny bit of it. There's still two baskets sitting here next to me on the sofa. I ran the sink full of soapy water. It's sitting there with dishes in it, getting cold. My carpets need vacuuming. My bedsheets? Need changing. The empties from the party? SOOOO need to be taken to the recycle depot.

You folks in Ontario won't know that. We pay deposits on all our recyclables in this province. There IS a recycling pick-up for domestic folks, but you don't get your deposit back if you send the stuff back that way. If you take your beverage containers back yourself to a depot? You get half the deposit back. So every 12 pack of beer you buy, you pay an extra $1.20 for. If you take it back empty? You get back $0.60. Not such a terrible deal. But I'd rather they just bury the deposit into the purchase price and don't make me work so hard to get my cash back.

The GOOD thing about the bottle deposits though, is something about which a lot of homeowners will disagree with me. Here in NS (And Halifax in particular) we have a unique job for indigent people. Here, we have TheCanMan.

TheCanMan can be seen pushing a shopping cart through certain neighbourhoods in the downtown core the night before garbage pick-up day. TheCanMan is generally quite tidy, and USUALLY does not make a mess in people's trash. TheCanMan will open the recycle bags, take out the beverage containers (for which they get $0.05 each at the depot) and then close the bags back up and leave them for pick-up. TheCanMan will put his cash-value containers in recycle bags which are tied to the shopping cart. TheCanMan will work all night, or at least until his cart is so full s/he can't possibly tie another bag on to it. Then, TheCanMan can be seen pushing the cart, very heavy, and precariously laden with recyclable baggage all the way to the nearest recycle depot.

TheCanMan does an awful lot of work for the $50 worth of cans he will gather in an evening. TheCanMan is a much harder worker than me, when it comes to determination and dedication to cause. TheCanMan can be very possessive of their particular 'territories' but for the most part, these hard-working individuals are harmless, if unpleasant to look at and smell. The worst harm they USUALLY do is to offend the bourgeois sensibilities of the middle/upper-class homeowners in the downtown core.

I, for one, applaud TheCanMan in all his/her non-gender-specific, singular and plural glory.

***

Wow, I guess I did have something to say today after all. Happy Day 15.

***

p.s. Wendy Mesley has my haircut! Ooh la la!

Heh--

...I hope nobody ever hates ME this much...

Talk about dysfunctional!

NaBloPoMo midpoint.

So...we're almost at the midway point in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month for those of you that don't speak gibberish). I'm actually pretty impressed with myself for sticking it out this far. Not that I've regaled you with fascinating tales of accomplishment, daring, or even comedic value, but I've at least posted regularly, which is an accomplishment all on its own.

There's been a lot of increased traffic via the NaBloPoMo blog randomizer--and I'd have to say thanks for stopping by! I'd like it better if you'd say hello, but you're welcome to pass through nonetheless. :)

If I were even remotely more technically inclined, I'd do something like Mike and put up a list of fellow NaBloPoMo'ers in my sidebar. But hey--I only just finally added half a dozen blogs to my blogroll that I've been reading religiously for almost a year now. And due to the randomizer? I've discovered about 30 new ones that have quickly become new loves. Thanks be to Fussy and to Lane over at Pink Elephants. You guys rock the house with your organization and your generosity in sharing your time and your skills to the whole NaBloPoMo phenomenon.

Today? I had a bunch to say, but I can't find my motivation. I'm going to read the paper, then come back. So for now? Have a bunch of links, some schmoozing, and some random name dropping. I'll see you later. :)

Copping out Sunday.

Yes, I'm well aware that I should have made a REAL post yesterday, and that my drunken 'not-gone-to-bed-yet-but-it's-technically-Sunday' post was a cop-out of sorts. But I didn't, and them's the brakes.

Today was a funny day at work. It was insanely busy, because government and a few other people had the day off. Also, the store was closed on Saturday for Remembrance Day and people couldn't spend money, so they all thought the world was coming to an end. It happens every time. Apparently Sunday was also insanely busy.

The thing about people today though? Even though they scored an extra day off work? They took their bitchy pills before they left the house.

I had an incident at the store that made me giggle more than usual today. You see, it's my job to get yelled at. Someone has a complaint? They talk to me. Someone's being demanding? They talk to me. Someone thinks we're a flea-market and not a retail outlet? They talk to me. And sometimes, they talk quite loudly. Sometimes? They're completely and totally unreasonably insane.* Like today.

*occasionally, and I DO mean occasionally, they're not only rational, but completely justified in their complaints/statements/concerns. But when that happens? That's not a funny story. And face it, I'm all about the comedy.

So today it was busy. Refer back a few paragraphs. I was selling stuff in the kitchen department, because that's where I happened to be when i encountered 3 couples needing assistance. Two of those couples were very nice, and more than pleased with my help. One couple, I served quickly, and they went on their way. I was mid-helping the next couple, in fact, when couple number three approached.

"EX-CEWZ ME!!!!" (because saying 'excuse me' makes interrupting and forcing your way between the clerk and the other customer suddenly POLITE) "CAN YOU *HELP* US NOW? We're WAY-TING"

"Sure, no problem...as soon as I'm finished up with these folks here, I'd be more than happy to help you."

The couple I was currently serving shot each other looks of shock regarding Couple 3's ignorance and lack of manners, and then very graciously said "You can help them, we're just going to pick out a colour here" I thanked them, then turned to the Couple #3, flashed them a smile, and said, "All yours, what can I help you with?"

"I took this out of that section there--how much is it?"

"I'm not sure, but I can look it up for you...it's a stock colour, so it should be about $15 a foot." I took the information off the item, ran to a computer, looked it up, and came back. "Yessir, that's a stock colour, but it's less than I thought. It's $139.90 for that piece, as it's a 10-footer."

"But I got it from over there."

"Yes sir."

"But I got if from over there--and the piece next to it is clearance"

"Yes sir, but that piece is a stock colour, it's not discontinued, and it's not damaged, so it's regular price. Sorry."

"Well it shouldn't be there! I went to the trouble of putting it on this cart! You should give it to me for $60!"

"No, sir. It's a stock item, and it's not damaged. It's $139.90"

"You people are stupid. I've had enough of you gouging me. We'll just leave then!"

"You have a nice day now."

Couple #1 (in more ways than one!) said "Wow, that guy was uptight. We'll take this one, please. :)"

"come on over here with me and I'll make sure the cashier's know what's what for you."

Couple #2, happy as pigs in mud. We chatted about how busy it was, and how it was lunch time, and the woman even suggested that perhaps the cranky man's blood sugar was low. They left me with a smile, a "Thanks, you were a great help!" and a "I hope you meet nicer people this afternoon than that man!"

I replied, "I just did. :) Have a great day!"

Now, normally, this would just be the end of the story. But as I mentioned, I'm the complaint lady. I don't usually work in any one particular department.

I served another family, then got called up to the Customer Service area to speak with a customer that was 'demanding the manager'.

Wait for it. Yep. It was Couple #3.

And I walked up, introduced myself, and he started right in. With how 6 months ago, the place he took his product from was labelled as a clearance section. And he was just back there, and some woman was helping him...and she said it wasn't clearance anymore. And that the piece he had, which CLEARLY should have been cheap, just because he wanted it to be, wasn't actually clearance, but was indeed full price.

"Yessir, that was actually me helping you back in the kitchen department."

"No it wasn't."

"Yes sir, it was."

"Oh. (turns to his wife--) Was that her?!" Wife assures him that, yes, it was actually me. "You've got glasses on now. You weren't wearing glasses before." He said that like it was a disguise. As though on the salesfloor? I'm Clark Kent. I just save my SuperManagerial skills for special occasions.

"No sir, I always wear glasses. I had them on."

"No you didn't."

"Well, it was definitely me. And I'm very sorry about the confusion, but the piece you were looking at *IS* a regular priced item."

"But we've ... {this is the portion of the complaint process where he goes on to list every single item he's ever purchased.)**

"Yes sir, and I'm sorry that you are upset. You are correct, 6 months ago, that section DID contain some clearance merchandise, and it was clearly marked as clearance. It is no longer a clearance section. We needed the space, and it is now storage for surplus pieces of regular stock items."

"Well, it USED TO BE."

"Yes sir, it did."

"How am *I* supposed to know that it's not clearance any more?"

"Our clearance items are all marked with red labels. It does happen, occasionally, that we miss some, and I'm sorry about that. But the piece you had, is regular price."

"But I want it for $60." (*note: even at clearance pricing? The $139.90 product that he had? Would STILL have been $97.93)

"I'm sorry sir, it's regular merchandise, and it's not damaged...so it's regular price at $139.90."

"You're an idiot."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"We're never coming here again."

"Again, I'm sorry you feel that way. And I apologize for any confusion, but I'm afraid I can't help you." (Keep in mind, he just called me stupid--I'm generally QUITE accommodating.)

Then he and his wife turned heel, and stormed out the entrance doors. I didn't bother to point out that he nearly beaned himself on the big glass door that CLEARLY states 'NO EXIT'. Because, being stupid, I'm sure I'm not able to read.

So yeah. Comedy. Buddy called me up to complain to me...about me. :)

*********

**You thought I'd forget about this...but it turned into such a long-winded rant? It needed it's own paragraph. In case you forget where we were? It's where I begin to tune out...

"{this is the portion of the complaint process where he goes on to list every single item he's ever purchased.)**"

** Detailing the hundreds of thousands of dollars that he, personally, has spent on light bulbs and garbage bags in the last 12 months. Make a note folks, this doesn't help your case. It's annoying, and I stop listening. Oh sure, it LOOKS like I care. It SEEMS that I am concerned with your billions of dollars in purchases. But honestly? I'm more impressed if it's only your first time in the store. Or if you just tell me your problem in simple terms that I can fix quickly and have you on your way.

I'm not impressed with how much money you THINK you spend. I'm not impressed by your platinum card, or the fact that you were going to spend $50 whole dollars today, and now you won't...because Johnny in lumber smells bad. Trust me, compared to some of our multi-million dollar accounts? You're minute. But you know what? Your $0.50 is MORE IMPORTANT to me than the $5M. You know why? Because you're all the same to me. You're the one that pays my cheque. So if your problem is $5 or $5oo? It's the same. I want to solve it, make you happy, and get you home to paint your house, lay your floor, or fix your dishwasher. I'm the fix-it girl.


*****

So yes. :) That was my comedic day. And it only went downhill from there. :)

Until I got home, and found little kid art waiting for me in the hall! I gave a rather large package of construction paper I found in my apartment to the kids across the hall. I left it outside the door with a note about them putting it to better use than I would, and signed my name...Sadie, #112. And tonight? I came home to artwork thanking me for the paper! So now it's on my fridge :)

And it made me happy. :)

Which was good...because I still somehow managed to frig things up.

I watched Prison Break (which was AMAZING, as usual--only better!) and chatted a little on MSN with Christine and Bill. Not a whole lot, because I get distracted by the beauty of Wentworth Miller. Anyway, later, I was talking to Bill.

And I made an observation that he's the least curious person I know. Possibly that I've ever met. Which he is. I don't think he's ever asked me a question. He's just so quiet and self-contained, that I volunteer stuff to fill the silence. And he'll tell me whatever I ask, but I just have to ask. I'm allll about the questions. And as I said, he just doesn't ask stuff. Now, perhaps he just doesn't care about the answers--but I'm a nosey parker. So yeah. I care :)

He said he was confused by my statement. I said 'confused how?' And he didn't answer. I waited about 5 minutes, then said '*laugh* My point exactly!' Because honestly, if you found something confusing? And were curious about it? Wouldn't you just freaking say "WHAT DO YOU MEAN by that?"

But no. After another couple of minutes, he was suddenly offline. Now he NEVER goes without saying goodnight. Hasn't EVER. So I was like "Wow, I must have offended him somehow. Oops. What the hell? Mister Sensitive." And shrugged, and continued to blog.

He came back online, and said "K--i'm going to bed. Night" With no smiles.

I said "I wondered! I thought I must have offended you somehow. Have a good snooze! G'night! :)"

His reply? "You did a bit. But it's okay. I'm going to bed. Night."

I got in "How'd I do that? I'm sorry." just under the line, but then he was offline.

I HATE leaving things messy, so I picked up the phone immediately and called. I got his voicemail, where I left an apology, and a request for an explanation. Because I don't like hurting people's feelings. Particularly when I don't understand how i did it in the first place. But. :)

Stupid friends. So sensitive all the time. Seriously, he's just like a girl. ;)

Anyway, this is a freaking novel, I have 7 minutes to post it, and I have a meeting at 6AM, so I'd best get myself to bed.

Happy Monday night, NaBloPoMo readers. :) (And I did TOO post yesterday, Christine! I just did it at 5:30 in the morning!)



Apparently I offended him. H,

party blogging.

Yeah, i know what they say about blogging drunk. But i'm doing it anyway. Because frankly? That's the way I roll.

So Bill's on my sofa. He just fell asleep mid-conversation. And it's 5:30 am. Probably more the latter that influenced his actions :)

Lynn's in my bed. She's been there for about 3 hours now. And she was the last to bed, other than me and Bill.

It gave me some relief, actually, to have her go to bed first. Because then it removed choice from the equation of "Who + who sleeps where?"

We stayed up and talked for ages. About serious stuff. And determined that he is the LEAST dramatic person I've ever known. And Lynn and I talked earlier about how I don't require a whole LOT of drama, but I do require some. I require someone to tell me that they like me more than the bum on the street corner. And that they think I'm cute. And hot. And attractive. Etc.

It was a good time. But I still have 2 more glasses of water to drink before I can go to bed. And I'm soooo not thirsty. And soooo tired. But I know that a) my head will spin if I lay down, and b) i'll feel better in the morning when i have to follow through on my SO ill-conceived promise to cook Eggs Benedict for Bill and Lynn. I did it for New Year's morning, and Lynn suckered me into it for tomorrow through flattery. She's the devil, I tell you. Good thing she likes beer, or i'd have to stop being her friend or something. :)

So yeah. I think I'm going to go drink another glass of water and then lay out a pound of bacon onto a baking sheet for the morning so I don't have to do it later.

Happy Sunday morning, boys and girls!

Free at last!

I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

He just left! :) My house is my own again! Let the rejoicing begin!

WHEEEEEEEEEE!



***

Remind me of my present joy in about 3 weeks when I'm country-mouse poor.

YIKES!

Wow...3 posts yesterday, and I nearly missed today altogether!

Today was errand day to get ready for tomorrow's party. Being just a little bit older than i was the last time I threw a fest, I feel somewhat compelled to have a slightly more adult gathering. I feel that I can no longer say "Hey, somebody bring a 2-4 over and we'll have a party!" Now I feel I need to provide glasses, plates, hors d'oeuvres (and more than chips, i'll have you know!) and the like. I feel that I should have mix on-hand, and adequate ice for said beverages.

I feel that I need to be a well-organized grown up.

I cleaned out my storage closet to make room for coats and shoes.

I ran errands all day to purchase paper plates, drink glasses, napkins, and pop. I wrapped water chestnuts with bacon. And I'm currently organizing my music library on my computer so I can play decent tunes all evening.

People had best be freaking showing up too, or *SOMEBODY*'s gonna be cranky. Hell, who am I kidding? Somebody's gonna be drunk. She probably won't even get the weepy-bitters. Just the hungry, cranky bitters. :)

More tomorrow folks, gotta get back to sorting the tunes. Happy Friday night!

It's good to have goals.

Sometimes I wish I were more politically inclined. Or rather, that I had something poingnant and persuasive to say regarding my politics. I just find that other people say it so much better.

I hereby resolve to keep myself far better informed on issues that matter to me. Like equality, and choice, and universal healthcare. I likely will still not post about it, but it's a goal. And it's good to have goals.

Blogger Beta Blows Dead Goats

That pretty much sums it up.

Sure it's pretty. Sure, it apparently works better and is more reliable. Sure it allows me to 'tag' my posts. Who the fuck cares?

The one thing that it does that I care DEEPLY about, is that it does NOT allow me to post comments on non-beta blogs.

So if you think I've fallen off the face of the earth, and that I'm being a stuck-up sow by not commenting when I visit your blogs? Blame it on the beta. Or the rain, because there's lots of that here too today.

Fwah.

East Coast Mall-Con 2006

So I had a pretty darned good day today!

I met a new-old friend from the Blogosphere. :) It was nice to meet L-girl, who is nice, and funny, and pretty, and a fun mom, and not so shy anymore! She claims not to be hot, but that's just crazy-talk! She's lived in some cool places! Done some nifty stuff! And is the only person I've ever known in the real world who's been to Majorca! And that's so uber-cool I could spit! :) I had a lovely time today and hope that we get to do it again sometime soon...i.e. not bi-annual, annual, or even semi-annual...*grin*

After our meeting, I wandered the mall. I hadn't been over to the mall on the Darkside for a long time, and it seemed to be a good idea since I was already there. My original plan was to just start making a list of possible Christmas gifts. But as my plans are wont to do, that went right out the window the second I saw white longsleeve tees on sale. I'm a sucker for stuff to wear under my uniforms!

I ended up getting my mother's gift (a new duvet cover and bedskirt), and a lot of stuff for my sister in the Cayman Islands (Lush body-stuff, she's so enviro it stinks!), and two turtleneck sweaters, 2 long-sleeved tees, and a new blouse for me. (hey, I deserve something nice too, you know!!!) So yeah. My VISA is smoking. I really need to hide it from myself before I do myself (and my credit rating!) any more harm.

This post is allll about the parentheses. (I wonder what that's all about?)

I'm moving my blog over to the new Blogger format..and I have to tell you that I'm quite anxious about it. What if it misses some? What if it crashes and I lose everything? What will I do for memories then? I ask you.

I've discovered a ton of amazing new blogs on the last few days of vacation. And I actually took a minute to check out my sitemeter tonight...hello to all of you that keep stopping by via the NaBloPoMo blog randomizer. Welcome. Feel free to pick up a complimentary bulletin at the door. We meet for coffee and cookies in the Narthex afterwards. :)

I actually had more to say tonight, but I'm currently pooped, and I need to go to bed. I also have only 15 minutes to post this in order to make my Day 8 deadline. And if (cross your fingers and pray to the gods of Microsoft, FireFox, and Blogger) my blog disappears or crashes? I'm going to need some time to stop crying long enough to post something again before midnight. :)

G'night folks :)

Hot date!

I've got a hot date with a hottie from the Dark-side.

Just thought you should know.

I hope she likes me. :)

Details at 11.

Tuesday

An excerpt from my afternoon chat:

Sadie says: i have too much money in my bank account. I'm disturbed by this. I don't know why it's there.
Sadie says: something didn't get paid.
Bill says: if it's bothering you, you can give it to me.
Sadie says: or i could spend it on booze and loose men.
Sadie says: eenie-meenie...I win.
Bill says: dammit

***

Oh my god! I just laughed so hard. Out loud, even. I have to share the best website EVER with you. I love them all, but that one is freaking priceless.

***

I just self-edited. I wanted to say 'fucking priceless' but decided not to, as it might offend some of you. What the hell? This is my blog. I should be self-editing because I think I swear too much and I need to cut back, not because I am concerned about the sensibilities of a bunch of pseudo-strangers. Yeah, whatever. My entire life is edited so as not to offend a bunch of pseudo-strangers. I think this is just an extension of that.

***

I started this post at about 9:30 this morning, thinking that i'd come up with something profound by evening. And I'm sure that I could have. But Blogger's been a pain in the arse all afternoon. That, and I've lost my gumption.

I'm going for coffee now with the 25 year old musician. We've been chatting all along, and I've been fending off his horny, 25 year old advances. I can continue to do this if we're having coffee. But I have to admit...it's kinda nice to be chased. :) Even if I have no intention of getting caught. :)

Monday.

You know...I always find vacations to be rather disappointing. Unless you GO somewhere to DO something special, it's always a bit of a let-down.

And today? I'm feeling a little bit let-down anyway. It's hard not to feel sad about the end of a relationship, no matter how 'fledgling' it was. And no matter the reason. It's still an ending, and endings are almost always a little bittersweet.

It's nice to see so many new people stopping by my little blog. It's lovely to have a bit of feedback, even if I sometimes don't want to hear it!

I did a ton of blogstalking today, and I found a bunch* of blogs that link to me, even though I had no prior clue! Hi there, Lurkers! Welcome. :) *okay, BUNCH may be overstating things a little bit, I found three...bit it's DEFINITELY a few!

I also found a ton of really great new blogs. I'm learning to love Firefox, simply because I hate the new IE7 so much. I downloaded Firefox a few days before I updated my IE. I wasn't all that keen on it, as I didn't like the way it opened up new tabs...but now? I'm loving it.

I downloaded the new IE7, understanding it was much the same as Firefox, but that it had all the old features that I loved about the old IE too.

The problem is that it did not. It is all the WORST parts of Firefox. It is everything that there is to hate about Microsoft. And because it updated all my files? I couldn't just go back to using my old-fashioned, outdated version.

So now? I'm all over the Firefox. I'm showing it the love, and it's loving me right back. I'm crazy for the multiple tabs in the same browser window. I'm loving that it lets me add stuff to my Bloglines right from the address line. I'm learning to enjoy the latest headlines and my direct Google search button. So yeah. I strongly urge you to embrace the Firefox. Be one with the Firefox.

Which leads me to the following very short story.


Buddha walks into the pizzeria and says...
.
.
.
.
.
...make me one with everything.

Ba-dump-ting!


Okay, so it's not really a story so much as a really lame segue.

And I'm not even segueing (wow that's a lot of vowels!) into anything interesting. I have a lot of stuff to do this week in order to get ready for the party. The least of which is giving away about 4 cases of stuff. I gave away my old spare tires on Freecycle this week already...and strongly encourage other people to take advantage of Freecycle themselves. It's a good system for a good cause. Getting rid of stuff! Or, alternately, getting stuff!

Anyway, I think it's time for bed. I'm turning over a bit of a new leaf and trying hard to get into a routine of some sort. I want to go to bed earlier, get up while it's still morning, and possibly even accomplish some of the regular day-to-day tasks that other people seem to get done on a daily basis.

So yeah. Time for me, or some such other nonsense. The only thing I know for sure? It's time for bed.

Cheesy e-mail forward posing as a post.

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works?

Well, here it is explained for you in one simple, easy-to-understand diagram. (edit: You'll have to click the diagram, Blogger doesn't seem to like .gif files much.)

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision that needs to be made, or a problem that needs to be solved.

Good thing a man's brain requires only two balls.

**************

The sad thing about this is how true it is. That really IS how our brains work. And it explains why we always want to know "what are you thinking?" and hat's going on in there?". It's because we assume that you are at least half as busy thinking all the time as we are. Yikes!

:)

Again--not up for discussion

So yeah.

Went to the surprise party last night--it was a complete shock to Jelena. It was good. :)

The party wasn't a hella fun for me though, as it was way out in Enfield and I couldn't drink at all. I was surrounded by drunken rednecks (nice, but rednecks nonetheless).

I left around 9:30 to go and meet up with Bill. We went down to the Old Triangle.

Now...a bit of back story. We went to Celtic Corner on Thursday, and that was okay. We really have a good time when we're out together.

But we've been a bit removed and things have been a bit off. I've been wanting it to work out, but things have been...off. So Friday when I woke up next to him, and felt lonely, I kinda knew the gig was up--even though I didn't really want it to be.

Friday? I spent 5 minutes with him on MSN, then lost him for the evening. We didn't speak all night. It was not cool.

Saturday, we met up and went to the Triangle. It was good. We always have a good time going to live music together. :)

The part that sucked was that we didn't speak much, we didn't touch, and it was a bit off. Also, while we were sitting at the bar, two separate times men came up to hit on me. They were surprised that we were together.

I knew that by the end of the night, we weren't going to be. In fact, I knew it the minute I walked into his apartment. And I was sad, but aloof most of the night. Which...I know...partly my fault.

When we went back to Darkness, and I was just going to drop him off. That's not our usual MO, but I wasn't feeling the groove. I pulled up at the door and said, "Thanks, that was fun." He said "What? Aren't you coming up?" I said, "I didn't think I was invited. I suppose I could for a bit."

So I did. But we had an adventure! It was uber-cool! :) As we were going into the building, I noticed that the crawlspace door under the stairwell was open. It's usually locked. So I peeked. And Bill peeked. And it had a trapdoor going down under the floor! So we went upstairs and got a flashlight. :) I climbed down into the pit and wandered around underneath the building while Bill hung his head upside down into the deep, dark, hole to watch and make sure I was okay. :)

It was nifty! I found archaic pop cans! I found spider webs! I found plumbing pipes! And old cardboard boxes! More importantly, I didn't find any rats, or mice, or bugs! :)

After though, we went upstairs. And I had a glass of water. And after 5 hours together, I finally got a hello kiss. And thus began the last of the awkward conversations.

It was unpleasant, and sad, and necessary. We lay on the bed and held one another while we were sad about why something that for all intents and purposes LOOKED incredible on paper just wasn't happening for us. Because honestly? We should be perfect. We get along like a house on fire. We have fun, smart, clever conversations. And yet...there's something wrong.

The closest we could come is that we were friends too long first, and it's not translating well. We have both had moments of bliss. Because we both WANTED moments of bliss. But we've also both had moments that were not quite so blissful. And it shouldn't be this much work. Not this soon.

So we're done. I spent the night, and we cuddled and held one another until we fell asleep in each others arms. I woke up fairly early, and after another very sad snuggle I left.

So yeah. I'm happy, but I'm sad. It's never easy to walk away from someone who's been your best friend. And it's even harder to know when it's going to be okay to be friends again.

Because man. I can live without the smooching, and the sex. But I can't imagine going back to living without the companionship.

Wow.

I'm clearing out some crap in my room and found a file with some old writings. I REALLY like this one...even though it's old. So you get to read it. It was a short piece written for a first-year English class, so cut me a little bit of slack. :)



A Piece of my Life


I can still taste the salt from his lips.

The softness, the taste of lipbalm, and the wet, salty tears. These are most vibrant in my mind. I have forgotten most else about him, but these I cherish; these I hold close to my heart.

I don't remember even, why it was that we had to part. I recall that it was a frosty morning in January. I remember opening the front door, and being surprised to see him standing there. His crisp blue uniform, his glistening black boots, everything about him proclaiming power and authority. But his eyes were sad. They were not strong. Tears were streaming down his face as he told me he could not stay. As he told me that we could no longer hold and touch one another.

I stood there, transfixed. Watching his beautiful face crumple up with grief and sadness. I gazed at him, wanting to break down myself, but knowing that i needed to be strong, for his sake. I stood straight up, my back stiff as a board; as though someone had run a pole up the back of my shirt, and I could not bend or sway. I told him that I understood--or I think that I did, my memory is clouded with the golden haze of time.

As we embraced, my spine suddenly lost its stiffness. I melted into his arms, as I always did. We held one another close, clinging desperately to one another, hoping that this last embrace would sustain us for a lifetime. I pulled back, to look into his tear-streaked face. His eyes opened up to me the grief that was ravaging his heart. Our lips met in a soft, loving kiss. The soft contours of his mouth felt like home. I was overwhelmed by sadness at the thought that I would never again touch his lips to mine. I would never again feel the enveloping softness of his kisses. I tried desperately to freeze that moment in time--to capture forever the depth of emotion we were sharing, the minute details of the experience.

I failed.

What I remember now are only snippets of a happier time. Vagaries plague my memory. I am unsure what is true, and what is imagined. The things of which I am certain are the taste of lipbalm, the overwhelming softness of his kiss, and the salt of our intermingled tears. My memories are bittersweet. I remember the concept of our joy, but cannot recall the details. I resent that my remembrances have been stolen from me by the brigand Time. If there were a way to recapture that moment, I would. The unbearable sadness I would gladly endure in order to experience the bliss of that kiss once again.

Haiku for a morning abed:

Monday, cruel mistress.
Know what? Fuck off. I'm going
back to bed. Ha!

by: Rude Cactus

Day 3--Friday at home.

So we had a great time yesterday. Celtic Corner was fun, as usual. It was nice to have Lynn there, if a bit awkward until Stew showed up.

But then it was odd when we got home. We smooched a bit...it was good. But we didn't touch while we were asleep, and we usually do. In the morning, I touched his back, and he rolled away. I know he was asleep, and you can't take it personally the things people do while they're sleeping...but that's logic. And this is my head. :)

I got past that. I thought I was good.

We chatted VERY briefly online tonight...he went afk for a bit...i assumed for supper, and the gym. Then he just dropped offline. Which my computer does if I'm away too long, so I still didn't think anything about it. I had looked up who was playing at the Triangle tonight, so I figured we'd end up there later sometime tonight.

And it's almost midnight and I'm still sitting home. IMing my boss. (THAT is another story altogether!) I phoned earlier (about 10:15) in case he was still asleep, and I didn't want him to miss the entire night. Also, because I wanted to go out.

And it sucks having all your girlfriends either paired up or knocked up. Makes it hard to find people to go out with. Because I don't want to be that clingy girl with no life of her own.

But i'm on vacation, dammit. And it's Friday night. And I wanted to go OUT.

I also wanted a phone call. I don't expect that we'll do everything together...but I'd have liked a call of some sort letting me know i WOULDN'T be seeing him.

*sigh* This isn't really a complaint, and i don't want advice or commentary so much...I'm just venting. I hate being all girly and silly about boys. It makes me feel stupid. And I hate feeling stupid.

I applied for a new job last week. I'm not sure if I told you about that or not. Perhaps I'll fill you in on the details tomorrow.

For now? I'm going to take my over-rested self to bed. Because I napped all afternoon in anticipation of going OUT tonight. *grumble*

Oh well. This too shall pass. :) At least it hasn't snowed yet today.

half an ass is better than none?

This post is half-assed. I'm aware of that. So sorry.

But I'm participating in NaBloPoMo...and I'm going out tonight. So I had to get my post in under the deadline :)

My vacation starts tonight, so...expect an extreme lack of excitement in the coming week :)

Ciao-ciao....more tomorrow :)

NaBloPoMo. WTF?

So yeah...me too. I feel so...AOL.

Anyway. :)

Nothing exciting to post...except I just sent off a job application for a job i found in the newspaper. One for which I am very qualified. And quite likely to at least get an interview for.

It involved working on my resume. Which I have not updated in 8 years. YIKES. So yeah. I suck. And it now requires a LOT more tweaking if I ever intend to apply for anything else ever again.

The good thing to come out of this application business, is that I discussed it with my boss. And he's mentioned that I need to be patient, and that big things are coming up soon that I need to be ready for in the next couple of months. We shall see. :)

The boy. He be good. It's disturbing how cheery it makes me.

We're off to the Celtic Corner again tomorrow. It seems to be our regular Thursday night thing these days :) I'm quite keen on that, actually. I like having a regular spot, and I like having a regular date-night with Bill. Even if it's mainly for the beer. :)

I'm invited to a surprise party for Jelena on Saturday night...I invited Bill...well, told him he was invited by extension...and he said "Sounds great!" Which is nice...considering that he won't know a soul but me. And I won't know very many of them myself. What a good sport he is!

He's also helping to play host at my party on Nov.11th...so yeah. :)

Oh yeah...you're ALLLLlllll invited to my house on November 11th (don't forget the date!) for a celebration party. My roomie leaves for Australia that afternoon...so big fest at my house :) I may get myself evicted. Here's hoping that doesn't happen before I get a new job! *laugh*

Anyway...bedtime :) Happy NaBloPoMo. :) Blogging before dishonour(myspace)! or something along those lines, anyway :)